Remember your old motto? "You'll know when you're done"...and now, we see, clearly, that we're never done.

It was stupidly hard to not work out today--on what is a normal rest day--because I was at work on time to do so...*shrug*

I find myself talking about "maintanence" on occasion. I find myself thinking about it more often than that. But if I were to be completely honest with myself, I don't see myself ever getting there. To reach maintanence means that I am "done". I don't ever WANT to be "done". The reasons why are along the same lines as what you have said here.

In my mind, I see my goals changing over time. I may get my body to a bf% that I'm content with, but there will always be goals. There will always be things to do and accomplish - ways to push myself.

Because I do not WANT to be "done".

Does that make sense to anyone but me?

Yeah Lee... that does make sense... I guess my conflict is that sometimes I do want to be done... not done as in "reverting to the fat-sedentary-lump that I used to be" but done in the sense of happy with my body.

I think I'm really struggling with body issues that I didn't realize I had until I started getting really fit. I am smaller, fitter, and stronger now than I have ever been in my life, and that is forcing me to re-define myself... and I'm really not sure where to take that definition or what I want it to be. And that scares me a bit.

*big sigh* thanks for listening!

No thanks needed. I'm here for you, babe. :)

What you have said makes sense. I have yet to reach that point, but I'm sure I will experience many of the same emotions when I do get there. I do understand about redefining, though. Currently I am in the best shape that *I* have ever been in and weigh less than I've weighed in ... MANY ... years. And lately I find myself redefining myself on an almost daily basis. But so far it hasn't created a huge enough conflict that I'm left struggling. I suspect it will happen, though. It's only a matter of time. Then I can come to you and you can listen to me. Deal? :)

You got it, Lee!!! I'll be here waiting with bells on!

Brenna, I think it's wise to consider what things will be like when you reach the place of maintenance, whatever that may be. I think it's different for each and every one of us. As you said, sometimes there's a time when you "want to be done." I think that's more than understandable and also why the vast majority of people who lose weight gain it back.

I know I fell into this trap and I swear I never thought I would. My failing was not in planning what my next goal would be. I reached a level of fitness I don't know that I ever had with a weight of 108 (I'm tiny, remember!) and a bodyfat percentage of 18%. That's a tremendous achievement, but where did I go from there? Instead of planning another goal (hiking the Grand Canyon, for instance), I eased up on everything and put on some weight and had to do a mini-loss in another six months. It was that way until I got pregnant, which obviously changed things (but didn't need to be as bad as I let it be!).

I don't know that it always needs to be a goal that refines your body specifically (I mean, there's a point at which you can't lower your weight or bodyfat and still be healthy), but I do think it needs to be a goal that enhances or reinforces the healthy habits that got you to where you wanted to be in the first place.

Thinking about this now - where you might want to take yourself on the next leg of the journey - makes so much sense to me.

I don't know what the answers are for you, but I wholly support you in finding what they are for yourself.

Athena!

Thank you for sharing your experience with me... this is so hard, and it never seems to get any easier... I WANT to know that I can find a place where I'm happy with my body and where I feel good maintaining myself at that point, but God... I've been dis-satisfied with my body my whole life... how do you break that pattern.

I've decided to spend some time going thru my Oxygen and M&F Hers magazines and finding pictures of women whose bodies I think are not only beautiful, but also attainable for me. I want to do this not to have somthing to compare myself to, but to help me solidify an image of myself that is healthy, fit and fabulous.

I don't want to stop having goals... but at some point, I do want to be able to say... I am happy with my body and I've maintained this body for x-years and I love it... etc... (how's that for an overuse of elipses?)

In any case, thank you again for your insight... I'd love to see you back online, let me know if that ever happens!

((((HUGS))))

What a great idea - to have that visual in mind and one that is reflective of YOUR body. I think those changes come, that okayness, for lack of a better word, with your body and life, but after years of having a completely different body image, I think it takes time and lots of positive reinforcement. I know that my experience is not unique and there's not a small part of me that loathes I became just another part of the 95% statistic. Still, I think there's a reason for it. It takes a lot of work to changes one's life, and after all the effort (getting to goal, for example), most people just want it to be done at that point. It's such a cliche, but I think that's just another beginning point, one in which the positive lifestyle choices really take hold. Then, after it's become second nature I can see where the constant vigilance can recede, but your life and body are just reflective of the "new" you.

Does that make any sense?

Oh, and I am back. :)