May 21, 2004
so... posing is hard...
like seriously sweaty breathin' heavy heart poundin skin and face turnin red HARD!
Linn showed me the back pose, chest pose, double bicep, tricep (from the side) and quads... and we practiced them, and they're hard... holding that much tension in your muscles for 30-60 seconds at a time seriously hurts (especially after a killer upper body workout!)
He also filled my head with knowledge about EFAs (essential fatty acids), protein shakes... and the like. He's going to email me the details later because by the end of the little lesson I was feeling rather overwhelmed.
It seems that not only am I an athlete... he believes that I have the dedication and focus and will power to really get into this... to REALY lean out the way fitness models and such do... and well, being told that (by a fitness professional) feels kinda freaky... I mean, that is DEFINITELY somthing I want (like I mentioned before... my subconscious goal really is to look like a fitness model or small end female body builder) But, I've never really considered that a realistic goal.
But ya know... maybe it is?
It seems (I am slowly realizing) that most people just don't do what I do.
It seems that the workout schedules I put myself thru... and the dietary routines I maintain are just not normal for most people.
Which seems really weird to me... because after a while, it really doesn't seem like all that big a deal to eat right and I think just about anyone I know could do this. A CKD isn't hard, really... its just another routine... just a change... and pretty adaptable too... and its short term... I mean really... what's 4 weeks?
And the exercising regularly is hard sometimes when you're in the moment... but the hardest part I think is just getting out of bed to do it every day... and I've got that pretty well down by now... anyone can do that if they just make the decision.
So what's the deal? I mean... I don't WANT to be a career fitness professional... this is just somthing I do to make me feel good about myself and about my body and what I can accomplish with it... so what is it about me that seems so unrealistic to the rest of the world?
I'm still a mommy. I'm still a full time professional... my workouts happen in the early morning and on my lunch hour so that I can spend lots of time with my family after work... anyone could do that too if they wanted to.
So... like body image re-evaluations I've got some more self-analysis to do I suppose. I don't want to be different from the rest of the world... I just want to be fit and lean... isn't that what most people want? Am I getting in over my head? Am I taking this whole thing too far? maybe... maybe not.
Posted by Lexy at May 21, 2004 03:37 PM
Comments
You ARE definitely making sense, Mojo! The one thing I took away from the MANY christian denomination churches I attended as a child is that one of the most important defining forces of humanity is free will. We are not powerless and helpless to the will of God or Fate or Karma or whatever... we have the power to choose! Thanks for the comment, hun... and hang in there. Believe you deserve it and life as tho you already do.
Posted by: Brenna on 05/21/04 @ 08:38 PM
OK...you've heard this before, but I think I'll reiterate.
First, look at your 190+ lb pic. Do you see a fitness model in there? Anywhere?
Now...look at your most recent photos (or take new ones, since you're leaner now)...take off the head...now...how much photoshopping do you think is necessary to make that pic look like a fitness model? If you answer more than an hour's work, you're lying.
The only thing is...the leaner you get, the harder it gets...the more incremental the results....and that's a hard, hard pill to swallow. The great leaps of the Starting Out are gone...but there are gains to be made...hell, Ronnie Coleman manages to come in a few pounds heavier *every year* at Mr. O, despite the incredible difficulty.
And the progress you've made *is* something...it's hard...if it wasn't, everyone would be doing it. And sometimes...sometimes I think it's counterproductive to talk with people who have succeeded, because then it seems less hard...it's like the bubble chamber of friends who all went to college, started businesses, etc...it just seems *normal*
Dropping a quarter of your body mass isn't normal.
Taking that next step isn't normal.
My thinking is that you did the first, thus the second is doable. It's all in how hard you're willing to try. (and yes...it'll be diet that gives the most improvement...you're already working out hard and well....)
Posted by: Jim (a.k.a. the Mighty Slug of Thunder) on 05/24/04 @ 08:32 AM
"""anyone can do that if they just make the decision."""
Yep, Brenna. We sure as hell can. I think I needed to read that tonight.
I think a lot of us feel overwhelmed with the idea that we are actually in charge of our lives. How many of us live by the "Well, it happened because the God/dess planned it that way." and the like? That sort of sets us up for feeling powerless and helpless...siphons off our motivation to make things happen. As if Fate was a real, living thing that could stop us if it pleased.
Gosh am I making any kind of sense? Damn sugar has me all icky today.
Posted by: Mojodiva on 05/21/04 @ 08:07 PM