4.14m

It seems that my "5m" loop is in fact 4.14m in length (I had suspected as much) but I have information on a loop that should be closer to 5 actual real live miles that I plan to run on Thursday to measure with my handy dandy new toy and report back. Today's run felt good... a little aching here and there (shins, knees, right arch), but nothing bad and nothing lasting. I'm definitely working the kinks out of my running legs and it feels good.

I really want to swim tomorrow... but that means actually getting my ass up and out of bed in the morning (which I haven't done in more than 2 weeks now which has REALLY improved my sleep schedule, but not my fitness level) so we'll see how it goes.

I'm finding it interesting that even when I'm not thinking about what I am eating, I think about what I am eating. I mean... over the weekend I made a pledge to myself to eat whatever I wanted and not worry about it... and I did. I ate whatever I wanted, and I didn't worry about it... but that doesn't mean I didn't think about it. Because I did. I thought about every bite that went in my mouth and I could NOT, for the life of me, turn it off.

But I'm not sure I want to.

I mean... for 28 odd years I thought "hmm... this is probably not very good for me, oh well!" when I was eating somthing... I didn't think about the fat/carb/protein ratios, or calorie and vitamin content, or whether it was laden with transfats or HFCS or whatever, but look where that got me... fat and miserable.

Now, even when I'm not worrying about what I eat, I still think about all of those things and more. I can still enjoy "naughty" foods, but I'm fully educated on what I'm deciding to put in my body and I do have to make a conscious decision to do so... like this home-made 3-cheese macaroni and cheese I'm eating right this very moment.

It's freaking FABULOUS... YUM... but I know it's seriously NOT on the eating plan I'm starting tomorrow, so while I'm enjoying it today I'm planning for tomorrow and realizing that indulgences like this every now and then are no big deal.

I used to repeat a phrase when ever someone I knew (or read online) would slip, binge, fall off the wagon, or otherwise feel guilty about somthing they ate.. that phrase is this:

"It's what you do MOST of the time that matters." Today's slip up is not a failure... its a choice. I choose everything I eat, I choose every activity I do... today I choose to eat yummy rich mac-n-cheese... and every other day this week I will choose to eat a ballance of carbs and protein and all of my vitamins and suplements and fruits and veggies and lots and lots of water. No biggie.

So yeah, I guess I don't want to stop thinking about what I eat. Thinking is empowering. Thinking gives ME the control over the food and not the other way around. Thinking will serve me well, I think... :)

Posted by Lexy at June 1, 2004 01:24 PM