Its far from impossible, but everything's a trade off. You like the idea of being more fit. You like the reality of curly fries. Trying to say that either one of those desires will "go away" is futile, and bound to lead to disappointment. The real question is, which do you enjoy more? Maybe its worth a little pining for curly fries to try out that sub-20% body and see if its more enjoyable? Or not.

For a more vitriolic commentary on this perspective, not that you're in the same boat by any means, check out http://www.santanacody.com/bloomingfig/id80.html . Certainly I don't agree with her completely - and don't have to - but she makes some interesting points about "acceptance."

As for the magazines, I've quit reading all of them. Shape, M&F Hers, etc. They drive me nuts lately...all the ads, how to fix my makeup after a workout... I find the "20 minutes to Great Abs" stuff silly now...I'm just trying to workout as much as I can, as best I can.

I don't think dumping the mags is admitting defeat, at all. You've done so well this past year, look at all that you have accomplished!

Hope you work it out...

I agree with Laura. I find women's fitness magazines in general to be counterproductive. They just make you worry and fret about not keeping up with some nameless superwoman, not being good enough or disciplined enough or perfect enough. I say toss 'em, and create your own definition of "enough".

One of the things that trips us up...if I can conflate our mindsets...is that there is this huge positive reaction to our transformations...but nothing really in *maintaining*it...so while we fight with entropy and gravity and legions of curlyfries (and corn dogs), the fitness models (or freshman) are staying 19, and finding new and innovative pharmacology and genetics.

My biggest problem is that I lose sight of what I have when I look at what I want. I can resist the siren call of consumerism, but only if I start wanting to be that 5%bodyfat genetic freak. These constantly moving targets...it's not like I wanted another PhD once I got the first one (well, an MD, but that's not important right now), but I always want another inch on the biceps, or a visible ab, or whatnot. Just keep piling them on the plate, and keep the plates spinning....

we have all these metrics chasing us, and as we put one behind us (the number),another jumps up (the look)...I have no useful advice,as anything I'd say would be hypocritical.

If you can keep the magazines as a positive, then keep getting them; otherwise, they're just another series of papercuts. *shrug*

I think I'm just babbling. Dub shups now.

Oh, Brenna. I wish I had the answers for you. And for me. And for all of us, really. Your questions, your concerns, your worries are not yours alone. I don't think there is a single one of us who doesn't share them with you. Too bad someone can't just hand out all the answers to us as we need them, huh?

Whatever decision you come to about your fitness, please know this ... I think you are a PHENOMENAL woman just the way you are. You don't have to be it all and do it all to be the best YOU.

Sleep on it. For as long as you need. Make the decision that fits *you* best. Keep your priorities in check and don't sacrifice them for anything. That's all any of us can do for ourselves.

* Hugs *

I used to read those fitness magazines. Sometimes there are some inspiring aspects to them... like all the before and after blurbs. BUT sometimes I feel like all their little articles (6 weeks to a bikini body, 20 minute abs) are geared toward people who have little fat on their bodies and just need to tone up... that certainly isn't me and it frustrates me to think that there are people out there for whom those plans can work. I try to embrace the things my body can do and be happy with that, but I know that there will always be body parts other people have that I will want... I just hope one day it'll click that no amount of exercise and diet will change my body to that. Good luck finding your own answers.