October 15, 2004
have you ever known someone...
who was self-distructing so fast and so thoroughly that all you wanted to do was scream "STOP!!!! JUST STOP!!!" at the top of your lungs at them, but you don't because you know it won't make one lick of difference and they're not going to stop their fantastic plunge into total disintigration for you or anyone else for that matter?
Yeah? So what do you do? Fold your hands and turn away so you don't have to witness the splatter at the bottom? Go ahead and scream and pound your head against their emotional brick wall even tho you know it will do no good? Get all subtle and psychological on their ass even tho you know it will do no good? What do you do?
In other news...
Hey BD - thank you for your comment and sharing your story with me... I do think that training for a marathon must be MUCH harder than running one. I have two weeks left until my half. I feel fine about it... I know I need to just put my shoes on and I need to do it more often. I like running. I really do enjoy it... I need to remember that I can go run for the sheer enjoyment of it and not all things must be geared toward my "training schedule." I don't run because I have to. I run because I want to.
12 miles this weekend... should be a blast!
:D
Posted by Lexy at October 15, 2004 08:28 AM
Comments
Hope the 12 went well!!!
Posted by: Dani on 10/18/04 @ 04:32 AM
Yes, known many people like the person you described. I agree with Lee, you do 2 and 3. You can't rescue everyone but if they are a real friend and you are a real friend then you can't turn away. So you do what you can. But in the end, they have to choose to make the change. And you can't stay or they'll drag you into their maelstrom.
I had to walk away from several friends after high school because all we ever did was complain about the world and get intoxicated. I was working a low paying deadend job and getting wasted every night. What a great path to a bright future. I decided to make a change. We had a long heart-to-heart one wasted afternoon. I tried to get them to see what we were doing to ourselves but they wouldn't or couldn't change. After that we followed different paths. I'm still friends with one of them. See him from time to time. Such a promising person, such unrealized potential. And he lost a wonderful person in his life, a true light; she would have changed his world. But he couldn't step out of the dark world he was creating for himself so she had to leave and go on her way. Well, he is lumbering along, making his way through the world. But he could have done so, so much more. The other friends? Not sure. One ended up in drug rehab but it didn't stick. The rest I know nothing about.
You see it all the time, everywhere you look. All they have to do is decide to make a change. And it would happen. But they can't or won't. No, you do what you can. Shouting doesn't help. You just lay it on the line. You can put your hand out. But in the end, they choose their destiny. And you can't feel guilty for the choice they choose to make.
Posted by: BD on 10/19/04 @ 10:17 PM
Quite honestly? A combination of option 2 and 3.
The thing is, it will be of no use to them - no matter what you do - if they don't want TO HELP THEMSELVES. I learned that the hard way, through my own journey. It doesn't make it any easier to watch someone you care about completely destroy themselves, though. Does it?
Posted by: Lee on 10/16/04 @ 05:19 AM