hmmm

I'm so not good with change.

There is a guy that I "work" with who has been basically put on administrative leave for the last week... he came in today and the boss sent him home pretty much immediately.

he's always seemed a little off in the social skills department, but not aggravatingly so, just kinda shy and inept... but a couple of weeks or a month ago he started just spacing out at his computer screen... not moving, not blinking, like in a wakeful-sleep... I thought maybe he was having silent epileptic seizures. He'd been comming in later and later and later each week... his schedule was 9-6, but we'd be lucky if he came in by 11 most days.

Its a little disconcerting to not have any idea what's going on with the guy, but he played off the being told to "go home" pretty well.

I'm wondering if we'll ever see him again.

***

In other news, emotional funkyness made for less than stellar performance last week. Changes are brewing for the Smash household, and while I know they will ultimately bring positives, I am so freaking paralized with fear about them. I have a very difficult time dealing with change even when I am positive it is for the greater good. I WANT it, don't get me wrong, I just don't like the responsibility for making it happen because then all of the "what-ifs" come into play.

what if its the wrong choice
what if we screw it up
what if I screw it up
what if the kids get pissed and rebel
what if everyone is unhappy
what if
what if
what if

so I'm doing my best to put it out of my mind. I let it get the best of me last week and there was an unfortunate chocolate ganache/fondue incident on Wednesday night for which I paid with a chocolate-hang-over for the next two days, so I'm letting last week go. It was a wash... and today is a new day.

The goal this week is simply to eat right (on plan) for the last week of the R&B FiF Challenge and hopefully post a scale loss on Sunday... and to get to Bikram 3 times and run at least once this week.

Good goals... time to get moving on them.

Posted by Lexy at June 27, 2005 02:18 PM