Rewards in small pieces...

I put on a pair of size 10 Gap khakis today. They were completely comfortable. I haven't worn a size 10 in probably 2.5 years... since around the time we first started the IVF process. Hormones, twin pregnancy, etc... its been a LONG couple of years. But today I put them on and nearly cried.

I am not in the same physical shape that I was the last time I was a 10. I can't run 10Ks at the drop of the hat like I could (I'm not supposed to run at all with my feet as fucked up as they are) and I can't lift the weights I could then... and I certainly can't do that pull-up yet.

But just putting on those pants meant SO MUCH to me.

With all of the stress I've been dealing with since I started back to school... the pressure I put on myself to succeed (thus the 4.0 last term)... and my desire to keep my family from suffering overly much because of my reeducation... it absolutely amazes me that I'm still losing weight, getting to the gym, finding time for myself (even if it is at 5am)... I'm proud of myself today.

Proud of the 10, proud of the 4.0, proud of my awesome kids... and I think its ok to be proud in this situation.

Posted by Lexy at March 4, 2007 04:44 PM