Happy Birthday to Me...

It seems that despite my application for lenience and desperate pleas for clemency to father time, mother nature and all the mid-range dieties in between... my birthday will be happening on schedule tomorrow.

less than 4 hours till I'm 30.

It's tweakin' with me much more than I had anticiapted and that pisses me off. Its not like its a huge deal... I mean, I've made it this far... what's the big deal? For me I think it comes down to deadlines... I gave myself a deadline to be OUT of the high-tech industry by the time I was 30. That simply will not happen. I have made significant steps to move in that direction... but it will be at least another 3-5 years until I can give it up completely. So I'm pissed at myself for procrastinating... I'm annoyed with my inability to just hand in my resignation on Monday and move on... but reality is what reality is.

Tomorrow I complete my 30th year of independant life... and enter my 31st

(*edited to correct my math... thanks Danny*)

I think I need to get my freak on in a hardcore way here pretty damned soon!

pairing up... and perspective

When I got home for the race last night and was snuggling in bed with my hubby (post HOT shower to completely rid myself of the stanky sweat I had accumulated) he said somthing that really struck me. He said he wished he could be as fit as I am.

Now bear in mind, my husband is not overweight. He is 6' probably 160lbs, fairly lean, and has some decent muscle on his narrow frame... but he has never been an athlete. Mike has lived with pretty severe asthma and respiratory allergies all of his life. Before advair (miracle rx for asthmatics!) he used an albuterol inhaler on an hourly basis just to keep his lungs open enough to breathe.

He's had a couple of short-term affairs with working out... lifting weights for a while here or there... walking to and from work for a while... so it's not a matter of can't any more from what I can tell.

There are some scheduling issues what with our oposite schedules so the kids don't have to go to daycare, and having no family close to dump them on for a couple of hours at a time that make it more difficult for us to schedule workout time together... but really... its not an excuse. I would love it if he would run with me or even ride his bike next to me while I ran. I want to encourage his desire to be more fit, but I also know (from my own experience) that it won't be anything I say that will get him motivated to move again... it will come from him.

I am not sure what exactly is holding him back. Maybe he doesn't like exercise... maybe he just doesn't want to put in the time/effort... maybe he's just too damned tired from working/taking care of kids, etc.

But ya know what? I want him to be fit and healthy too... its no fun running alone all the time... so what do I do? Encourage without being pushy I suppose. I'll work on it, and keep ya posted.

Into all lives...

some crazy old women will roam.

We had ours the night before last. Next door neighbor's mother barged into our house and refused to leave even after we threatened to call the police... what do you do? Can't put your hands on an old woman for fear of assault charges right? (its a long story as to WHY she felt she needed to come to our house, but let it suffice to say that neighbor is her daugher, and she and boyfriend are breaking up and mother (plus mothers sister) are in the middle of it and making shit recoculous!) Ah sweet senility.

In any case... last night I officially ran farther than I've ever run in my life. Most 10k races are pretty close to their distances... this one was .5 miles over. Now I wouldn't bitch about half a mile... but that last half a mile was a killer.

My Forerunner stats showed this: Total Distance - 6.74 miles. Total Time - 1:00:32 (thirty seconds off my 10k race time from last year... until you realize that its at least .5 miles LONGER than a 10k is supposed to be). I believe I ran the fastest 5k I've ever run as well (hooray for SWIFT down-hills). Our best mile (mile 3) was clocked at a 7:22. Our worst mile (mile 5) was clocked at 10:40... (DAMNED UP-hills!) Overall pace is SUB-NINE-MINUTES!!!! WOOHOO!!! (8:59 to be exact, but that is SUB 9 minutes!!!). I'm stoked to run the pints to pasta again this year so I can track the ACCURATE course distance with my Forerunner 201 and see just how it all compares.

I'm a statistics whore.

My birthday still seems to be scheduled to happen (right on time) on Saturday... I'm wondering if sneakig off to the beach at 5 am will affect it at all, but I'm doubting it...

2 more days to 30... hmmmmmm.....

Foamy is...

my lord and master... and he should be yours too...

*Warning - EXTREMELY NAUGHTY LANGUAGE AND SUBJECTMATTER!*

If you don't know the joy that is foamy the squirrel... check it out!

This last one wasn't the best... click on "toons" for the archive... check out all of the card-cult ones... the fatkins diet... aw hell... watch them all - just not at work. If you want to go in order... (From the beginning) start at the bottom right.

In other news - gotta pick up my "race packet" today... if you're interested in the race check it out here: The Columbia Classic

I checked out the "course elevation map" and in the first 5k you loose 800 ft of elevation... heh... and then it just sort of rolls along for the remaining 5k (there's a 15k too)... should be a fun/fast run tonight. I decided not to do any exercise yesterday... part of it was this sort of "aw, fuck it" attitude I've got going on this week, and part of it was that I really didn't want to be sore today before the run... and with my current lack of working out, I concluded that just about anything I could have done would have made me sore... so there ya have it.

I'll be picking up my system-cleansing supplies this weekend... probiotics, bulk fiber, herbals, epsom salts (gag!) etc, etc, etc... I've got enough veggies to choke a horse. I am still turning 30 on Sunday... somehow I haven't been able to reschedule that for a later date... so I'm kidnappin April in the WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hours of the AM and takin' her to the beach for the day with me. Maybe I'll get her to get a tatoo on her ass... but I doubt it.

:D

Had a thought this morning...

I think it's pretty darned cool that I can say yes to an invitation to run a 10k with a friend on 2 days notice. I mean... 10k is not a long race in a distance runners mind, but for me... well... I've only done it once before, but I know that I can do it without too much effort and come out fine on the other end... and I think that's pretty neat.

I'm back at work this morning (hooray.) and trying to get caught up on my 200+ emails. I need to meet with a few people and get some updates on things that happened in my projects over the last week.

My plan for the next few weeks will be solidified over the next couple of days... I imagine I will start with a 10 day colon cleanse, continue it while I do a 3 day kidney cleanse, and then do a 3 day liver flush routine after which I will continue on my merry way all clean and detoxified and such... and then... it's lean out time baby... cardio cardio cardio and low-weight/high-rep weights. I don't expect to exercise much during the cleanse... it's just very hard to maintain energy levels when your diet consists of a lot of fruit and veggies and vegitable sources of protein (read beans) and not a whole hell of a lot else.

Once I'm done with my cleanse my diet will go back to about 150-200g protein per day, 100-140g of carbs and 30-50g fat. I'll be takin' my suplements (omega-3, magnesium, b-complex, multi-vit) drinkin my water (100+ oz per day) and livin the life of the athlete.

I'm sad about the triathlon... I think I need to find another to do before the summer is over... and maybe next year we'll all go to Alaska for the Gold-Nugget All Women's or the Valdez - Gold-Rush-Days Tris. What will be will be.

Its good to be back!

Cheers!

Break on thru...

Doug invited me to run the Columbia Classic with him in a couple of days... Thursday night in fact. I registered right away. 10k, mostly down hill, in the dark on a historic highway on the Columbia River Gorge... sounds FABULOUS to me, so there is my step one back into the realm of the running and fitness fabulousness.

Hmmm... so I'll take it easy and just hit the cardio tomorrow... eliptical for an hour or so I suppose.

I need to find more info on doing my cleanse (colon, kidney, liver) which I want to start asap after my birthday on the first... so if anyone has good info I would love to hear it.

Ok... I'm gonna drink the last coors light in the house and put the last load of guest-related dishes in the washer and call it a night.

I'm still recovering from my vacation, work tomorrow should be a BLAST!

Enjoy the silence...

whoah... its quiet.

and not so damned hot either.

most are gone... all that remains are my youngest sister and parents... *sigh*...

I made it!

Family time

Well Family is here... lots of them. Three decided not to come due to vehicular troubles and heat, but the rest are here, and we're having fun visiting, drinking beer and such.

We're making "druken chicken" tonight and having some margaritas... it's HOT... damned hot... 104 at last check.

Hot.

Very very very HOT.

Other than that, my sister pushed me hard on the run this morning, we averaged a 9:07 pace and she was helping me with extending my stride and running with my hips. It was hard, but it kept us moving pretty fast.

Better get back to the fam!!!

Reality break...

Its like a freakin' Schitzophrenic episode over here.

They're in the walls... they're watching me... and they've canceled the race.

Yes, ladies and gents, after no news, and then a change in format the events at Blue Lake Park scheduled for this Saturday have been officially CANCELED.

There will be NO races whatsoever... the record heat that's being predicted (100+) and the fact that no-one can touch the water, has forced AA-Sport's hand and they're done... no races, no event, a credit voucher for use on any other event they handle... anywhere, anytime...

The call came to me personally because I'd called them on Monday looking for info and had left my name and number... and there you have it.

Seriously... I'm hosting a Palmer Family Reunion on Saturday... anyone wanna come?

RACE IS ON!!!

AA Sports (the race organizers) have re-vamped the race to be a DUATHLON instead of a Triathlon... here's the details:

1.55mile run
12.5 mile bike
3.1 mile (5k) run

More Info HERE

WOOHOO!!! We can still get our medals!

3.5 miles... slowly

I wanted to go for one last run this week, just in case there actually IS a triathlon this weekend. I decided to go this morning so on the off chance the thing happens, I'll have 4 full days of rest before the race.

I headed out around 8, it was fairly cool and humid... it had just stopped sprinkling and my muscles were kinda tight and angry for the first mile. I ran my regular course only backwards, and at the half-way point (at the top of the overpass over the highway) I stopped stretched for about 5 minutes. It felt good to do that, I think I really needed it and then I continued on for the rest of the run. 3.5 miles went fairly uneventfully until the last .5 miles when the outside of both of my knees began to ache. It isn't a sharp stabing pain, it's a dull ache, and as soon as I stopped it went away... but it's a new pain, and somthing to pay attention to, so that's annoying.

As if I needed more sports-injuries... UGH!

I am feeling like I'm ready to do a colon/kidney/liver cleanse series next month and then really put myself into a cutter... probably for 6-12 weeks... with only 2 days of total body lifting (low weights, high reps... think 4sets of 20reps per exercise) per week and lots and lots of cardio. I want to make my plan, have a log/chart to check off my workouts... and just go for it. I know if I put in 6-12 SOLID weeks of cutting I'll get myself under that magic 20% number and finally feel like I've met that goal (end weight be damned!).

So there ya have it... now back to cleaning!!!

Uh... I think there will be no Tri...

It seems that there are now 100+ documented cases of "Norwalk Like" viral infections of people who swam in Blue Lake last week... there could be more.

with no lake there can be no swim with no swim there can be no tri... there is no "official word" yet... but I don't know that I'd WANT to swim in that lake at this point... especially so soon after this "outbreak."

Here's the details:

Virus blamed for Blue Lake illness that sickens over 100
06:21 PM PDT on Monday, July 19, 2004
By JIM PARKER, kgw.com Staff

FAIRVIEW, Ore. -- The Multnomah County Health Department blamed "a type of norovirus" on Monday for an illness outbreak now affecting at least 100 people who recently went swimming at Blue Lake Regional Park.

The beach at Blue Lake remains closed due to a virus in the water that sickened at least 100 swimmers. (KGW Photo)
The 400-foot beach area at the popular summer lake remained closed and health experts urged people to avoid contact with the water there. Blue Lake was first closed on Friday, after a couple-dozen illness cases were initially reported.

Noroviruses are generally spread by contamination of water by feces, health officials said, but they didn't elaborate on specifics involving Blue Lake's contamination.

"We have now documented approximately 100 people with symptoms from Multnomah and Clackamas Counties, but there may be more infected," said Dr. Gary Oxman of the health department.

"An additional concern is how easily this virus can be spread, particularly among household members," he warned. "Even those without symptoms may be infected and can pass the virus to others."

Dr. Oxman said symptoms of the gastro-intestinal illness could include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach cramps, and fever. Frequent handwashing was the best defense to prevent the spread of the virus, he added.

Scientists at the Oregon Public Health Lab said testing of the water at Blue Lake found no evidence of e-coli or other dangerous bacteria. An e-coli outbreak was responsible for sickening about 80 people at the lake in 1991.

The 185-acre Blue Lake Regional Park is visited by about 300,000 people each year, park officials said. It is located between Marine Drive and Sandy Boulevard off NE 223rd Avenue.

There was no word Monday on when the lakefront beach might reopen.

Eggplant is nasty

Either I am the absolute WORST eggplant chef in the known universe or eggplant is just plain nasty.

I vote for nasty.

What a waste. 95% of it ended up in the sink because it was so slimy and gross and nasty. I tried grillin' it in the george foreman (nasty). I tried broiling it under the oven broiler (nasty). I even tried covering it with nummy tomato sauce (still effin nasty). No further eggplant experiments were necessary to conclude that I do not like eggplant... and thus will never ever ever attempt to cook it again.

YUK!

In other news the deck is STILL not done (work began last Monday) because the builders were trying to half-ass the stairs and mike put a stop to it, called out the manager and got them to agree to send out their "lead builder" today to fix the stairs and anything else we have a problem with. The other problem is that it rained last night so now the wood is wet and I can't stain/protect wet wood... so now I have to wait at least a couple of days for everything to dry out again or the stain won't penetrate properly. UGH!

I don't think I would EVER recommend this deck company to anyone, we regret going with them now... if they make things right I won't bad-mouth them completely... but right now I'm annoyed as hell.

SO much still to do before the family arrives and the newest twist in the plans is that the lake where the SWIM portion of the Triathlon takes place next weekend was CLOSED on Friday by the county health department because of a possible stomach-virus outbreak in 25 people that were at the lake last week. The thing is... there were like 3000 OTHER people at the lake who didn't get sick and all the ones who did were from ONE Summer camp program, who all rode on the same bus, ate together, etc... etc... etc... which makes ME think its probably a food poisoning issue and not the lake at all. Especially since the Health Dept. already said it didn't look like E-coli due to the progression of the illness. So at this point I don't even know if there will be a triathlon at all.

Maybe we'll just have a bar-be-que.

*sigh*

I am purging eggplant

I've never really cooked with eggplant before.

But one came in my veggie-box this week and well, I figured I'd better do SOMTHING with it. So I'm purging it (ala Alton Brown) and then I'll rinse and pat it dry, brush with olive oil and grill it with some seasonings... after that, I have NO idea what I'll do with it (other than eat it).

Perhaps I'll put some sketti-sauce on it and some parm/motzarella and bake it up... hmmm...

In any case, I feel really excited because I've never cooked wtih eggplant before, and here I am... doing it.

:D

Oh... and I did a chin up at the playground with the boys this morning.

All the way up.

Just one, but it was real and I did it.

:D

Vindi-FUCKING-cation!!!

Ok... so I know I'm paranoid and a total freak about statistics and weight and numbers and shit like that... which is why when somthing CHANGES and I don't know quite what's going on because I don't have the statistics that tell me one way or the other what is going on, I freak right the fuck out...

So lately I've been freaking right the fuck out.

By the records I could find the last time I had my bodyfat tested was in March... March 11th in fact... (I think there was another test round the end of April, but I can't find my printout from it, so I'm going to pretend it didn't happen) 4 (or even 3) months is TOOOOOOOO long for me to go without having this test done. Especially since I'm used to having it every 6 weeks or so.

So I found Dave Ryan Sr. (since Dave Ryan Jr. was being wholly unresponsive) and went to see him today. Here are the results:

On March 11th I weighted approximately 152 lbs, had 38.55 lbs of fat weight and 113.45 lbs of lean weight giving me a body fat percentage of 25.36%

Today I weighed approximately 156 lbs (by his scale), had 35.54 lbs of fat weight and 120.46 lbs of lean weight giving me a body fat percentage of 22.78%.

SO - in those 4 (or 3) months I've LOST 3.01 pounds of FAT, have GAINED 7.01 pounds of LEAN (muscle, glycogen, water, etc), and have dropped my bodyfat percentage by 2.58%

Just keep swimming, right?

So I'm bulking up a bit... no worries... I wanted to butch up, didn't I? (can you tell I'm smiling right now?)

I'm sure my 8's will fit again soon... I'm cyclic, I know it... up and down up and down... and right now, even tho the weight is up the fat is down and that's all I care about... AND... the little program estimated that if I get down to 142 lbs and maintain my current lean body mass (not to mention putting on more muscle) I'll be aproximately 15% body fat... DAYUM... makes the 140lb goal look a little silly now, don't it?

I'm gonna go skip.

see ya!

ARGH!!!

I just completed what may have been the most PAINFUL 2.5 mile run in my LIFE!!!

Freakin' boot camp anyway!

All over the place

My emotions are litterally all over the place the last couple of days.

Things at home are really good... my kids are fabulous and my hubby is being a gem these days... I think I can say that I've gotten the dishes habit down and the finances are fairly stable at this point. The deck is almost done, we've spent a lot of time de-cluttering (which always makes me feel accomplished) and we had a great family weekend at the Portland Historical Races last weekend... so with all of that I'm happy and good.

I spent some time posing in the mirror last night... trying to really analize what my body is doing this last 4-5 weeks and the truth is, I just don't see a lot more fat on my body except in the tummy (abs are a little less defined)... but my arms still look good... my triceps are great, my back and legs (except for my jiggle butt) are still there... so I know I can't have gained 12 lbs of fat... I would see it... after all I am the most hyper critical of my physique... so there must be somthing else going on.

So I scheduled my "annual exam" with my dr. and asked to have a note put on the appointment that I'd like to talk to her about my weight, hormones, thyroid, etc... and possibly get a referral to an endocrinologist and/or dietician if anything comes up wonky in my blood-pannel.

And then last night I realized I didn't have my ring on and couldn't remember when I'd taken it off, so I started tearing up my bedroom, bathroom, kitchen (anywhere I might have taken it off) trying to find it. Spent an hour and a half panicking that I'd lost my ring and then realized it was probably in my gym bag which was still in the mini at work with Mike... so I called him up, he checked, and voila, there it was.

And now I am super anxious about having 11 house guests... did you hear me? Yeah... the number has grown to ELEVEN house guests... including 3 camper trailer things and THANK GOD for my next door neighbors who volunteered space in their driveway and in front of their house for parking and even offered electrical hookups if necessary to help accomodate everyone. I think this may end up being the most comprehensive impromptu Palmer Reunion ever... whoah... Only ones missing will be my oldest sister, my Aunt Cheryl's husband and my cousin Mike's family... so ok... that's 9 other people... but I've got more than 50% of the living Palmer Clan descended from Bill and Alta Palmer comming to my house in about a week.

So like I said, random, all over the place, didn't exercise yesterday, doing boot-camp today because I just feel like getting a GOOD leg workout in. Finally got my weekly pill organizer set up so I'm takin all my supplements at the right times... etc... etc... ad nauseum.

I'm going to stop typing now...

Maybe I'll call Dave Ryan and tell him to get his ass over here before my fear of body fat completely consumes me.

159

if I break 160 again I might have to shoot myself.

this is reCOCKulous.

fuck.

Seriously tho... if all of this is fat I'm gonna be SO fucking pissed it isn't even funny. GOD DAMNIT!!! If body-fat man doesn't get his ass back to our gym I'm going to have to start bad-mouthing him to everyone I know for his complete and utter unreliability.

fucker.

(insert long, drawn out, primal scream here)

UGH

I am gaining again.

The 8s don't fit anymore.

What the hell is wrong with me? I am the only one in control of what goes in my body and I'm pissing myself off with the choices I'm making these days... and it's not that I'm eating a lot of crap food... the VAST majority of the calories I consume come from pretty damned clean sources... its just that I'm eating SO FREAKIN MUCH... like I got a taste of the whole-wheat pasta, 4% ground beef and spaghetti sauce caserole (with a bit of motzarella on top) that I made for dinner (all in all a very healthy meal) and I just couldn't stop. I could have eaten 1 serving... a cup... or even 1.5 cups and been fine... but no... I had 3... and I could have shoveled more into my face too.

GOD DAMNIT! I am so fucking sick of this. I'm ready to go to a nutritionist and say, here... this is my goal (<20% body fat) tell me what the hell I'm supposed to eat every single day for the next 4 months... and I will do it. What EVER you say (except canned tuna because I simply can't stomach cat-food)...

Maybe Linn can help me.

FUCK this is frustrating, expect BAD things from the scale tomorrow... I do.

Apache Weirdness

Well my host server (who is a fabulous human being and also provides hosting for the ever-popular Frycook on Venus site) upgraded apache this weekend and there were a couple of config tweaks that he needed to do to get my MT back up and running, so THANKS MAGIC15BALL!!!

Had a GREAT weekend with the hubby and the kids... didn't really do much on the exercise front, but it was my hubby's 30th birthday so he took Olivia (yes, that's our house in the background) to the historic races at PIR and did some charity auto-crossing in her and had a FABULOUS time. His best time thru the course was 23.6 seconds which was only 1.7 seconds off the fastest time posted for the weekend... and which was recorded by a Porsche 914. He was pretty stoked. It was so much fun to watch him whip her thru the tight corners and he was the fastest Mini Cooper driver on the course too!!! I don't think I'd want him to auto-cross Olivia every weekend... the wear on the car would be pretty significant, but it was neat that he got to do it once and was pretty darned good at it for a complete novice too!

My deck should be getting installed starting today... they'd better show the hell up and get some work done... I wanna see posts in the GROUND!!! :D

Forgot to weigh in this morning, so I'll do it tomorrow... gonna boot camp it today and then run tomorrow, swim on wednesday, run on thursday, swim on friday and then begin to panic over getting my house clean enough for guests and getting my deck stained before the guests begin to arrive next week..

*wheeeeee!*

Number Nine

Two weeks from now I will have 9 house guests. 8 of whom will be related to me by blood or mariage... the 9th is a friend of my Aunt Cheryl and sounds like a fabulous lady.

Oh yeah... and that's not a typo... thats a NINE... like one less than ten and two more than seven.

And 2 weeks from tomorrow seven of us will step into the water, listen for the horn and cross the finish line after completing the Blue Lake All Women's Triathlon. Four of those seven are over 50 and have never competed in a triathlon before in their lives.

Fan-freakin-tastic!!!

I was BEAT during bootcamp today, but I tried to do a chin-up before I started class and I got my EYES to the bar!!!! I"M ALMOST THERE BABY!!!

Ran 3 miles yesteray with Ana, which was a lot of fun, and with a pace close to 10 minutes per mile it was a kick ass workout too.

I won't be doing much lifting next week, I'm going to put my focus to biking, running and swimming before I begin my final "taper" in preparation for the race.

Food has been sooo good this week... I even ordered grilled halibut with salad and veggies last night when we went out for dinner with our friend Dave... it was awesome... the only off-plan things I've had was the pizza on wednesday and a krispy kreme today because damnitall if they didn't HAND me a HOT one over the counter as a "sample" when I walked in to buy donuts for my team at work today (I owed them for some late-night troubleshooting assistance this week)... DAMN those Krispy Krack vendors, damn them straight to the 7th ring on HELL!!!

:D

Have a fabulous weekend... and keep the linkage comming, I'll be making the changes tomorrow!

Time to do a Link Purge

I hate hate hate having to do this, but when someone doesn't post for a couple of months (or more) it just seems necessary to comment out the line that is the link to their blog and put a new one in its place... if they come back I will HAPPILY return them to my list, but it just gets too cluttered if I don't purge every now and then... so that process begins today.

What I need now are NEW LINKS!!! If there is a blog you read that is in any way fitness related, please leave me a comment and let me know... if its your blog, GREAT! If its someone you think I'd get a kick out of, GREAT! If they post on a fairly regular basis... EVEN BETTER!

Sean thanks for the comment yesterday... I'm sore too, but its somthing I'm relishing right now because for a while I was cruising on auto pilot and getting very little from my workouts, so getting sore again is a nice change - oh and you're getting linked... deal with it. :D

Oh... and if you wanna read a fabulous email that I got this morning and just MADE MY DAY... click on the "continue reading..." link.

I feel a shift in the balance of the force

Today was leg day.

Most people hate leg day.

I, on the other hand, LOVE LOVE LOVE leg day... you KNOW you wanna know what I did... I know you do...

Unfortunately I have no idea what I did because it has all left my brain now that I'm done... I know it involved HIGH reps and some friendly competition with a guy in the class who always CHECKS my db weights to make sure he's lifting more than I am, and at one point he was doing stiff-legged deadlifts with the 30s so I walked over, grabbed the 35s and did the full set of 20 with bigger weights than he had, standing right next to him, lookin' in the mirror at him as I did each one! I think that ticked him off a little bit, but in a friendly competative, "I've gotta be stronger than that girl" kinda way... but OH BOY did that KILL my ass!!! I still don't have the grip strength I really need either, so the last few reps I was worried the DBs were going to slip right out of my fingers and fall on the floor. But I made it, and all was right with the world.

Gonna do another 4 miles with Alissa tomorrow, and hopefully if I am not up till 3 am working on servers again (god I HATE on-call week) I will swim in the morning too. My motivation is up, my body image is up, I feel strong and capable and I wonder sometimes if I'm mildly bi-polar or if its just the normal hormonal fluctuations that swing me back and forth on this pendulum... cause when I go down... I hit bottom hard and feel pretty miserable while I'm there, but it doesn't seem to last very long and I'm right back up to where I am now... flying high and feeling good, and ready to conquer the world.

Maybe I just need more consistant sleep and more frequent sex.

;)

9 miles in 2 days

Ran 4 with the fabulous Alissa today, it was HOT and MUGGY and horrible, but we made it, and in a decent time too - 41:50.

Oh... and official weigh in today (because yesterday was a holiday) came up at 155, so I maintained over the holiday (fabulous!)

and thanks * for the homophone correction... I don't usually mess up the easy homophones and homonyms like "to, too and two; or there, their and they're" but hey, shit happens... right?

Weekend Report

Ya know, I'd planned to do absolutely no exercise this weekend... I was ok with it, I didn't think I'd have time and I didn't want to feel guilty if I ended up really not having time and not getting anything in... so I figured, eh, whatever.

But ya know what? I did have time! And Saturday I went for an HOUR AND 40 MINUTE walk with Nate in the stroller and my legs LOVED it... we probably only covered about 4 miles, but it was fun and gorgeous and I sweated and kept a good pace and it felt GOOD. And just now, on a holiday monday night... I just ran what had to be 5 miles... it took me 55:18, so it had to be around 5 miles (my forerunner is charging, so I don't have an accurate route/distance) but man... I had only planned to go for 30 minutes, and when I got to the point where I figured I'd turn around I just didn't... I just kept going, and when I got to 30 minutes I figured what the hell, I'd run this far, I may as well run back... I ended up doing a brand new loop for me and it was dusk/sunset, there was a breeze cutting down on the updrafting heat from the pavement... and I felt like a runner, a real live runner! (whodathunkit?)

Running any distance over 3 miles for me allows me time to crawl into my head and do some analysis as well and this run was no exception... I decided that I really needed to look closely at how I had failed myself in June... and why... and I came up with a bit of a list:

How I failed myself and my fitness goals in the month of June (analysis by b. palmer with the intention of finding a way to keep it from happening again).

1. I let myself get out of my morning routine. It was a slow transition, but I went back to afternoon only workouts which means I end up skipping more workouts than I should due to work/family schedule conflicts.

2. I rebelled against healthy eating and stuffed my face full of anything sugar/fat/salt laden that sounded pleasing to the palate at the time.

3. I stopped cooking for myself and my family.

4. I let my pantry become barren of healthy foods.

5. I let my focus drift from fitness to fashion (ie... how I look).

There are more little tangents but most of it comes back to those five points... and number 5 is probably the most significant of all of them, because as soon as I forgot to focus on fitness and got caught up in how I was going to look in that bikini the depression set in and hopelessness, and fear, and self-loathing are tough demons to fight... especially when you're in FULL ON DENIAL of their existance. (lucky me!)

I am glad I really thought about that stuff, and I think I'm going to be better for having written it all down. My morning routine MUST come back and so I will force it to do so... happy 5th of July... its time for another revolution... mine.

Happy 4th of July!

I hope everyone (of my US readers) is able to get out and spend time with family or go see some fireworks and enjoy the holiday. I'm not a huge patriotic freakazoid, but independance day does hit a nerve with me. I never read the full text of the declaration of independance until I was an adult in college. The first paragraph and the first few lines of the second were all I'd ever really thought about, but the truth of the matter is that this document created 228 years ago now was an amazing and detailed outline of the atrocities the colonies had endured under King George the 3rd of Britain. It is surprising to me today that it worked... that we won the war of independance... and that we are fighting it still as the tryants of today try to legislate our morals and steal our elections, and force their religions down our throats.

I hold this truth to be self evident, that ALL men are created equal... so here, coppied from one of the many on-line resources, for your full and unedited review is the text of "The Declaration of Independance of the Thirteen Colonies:"

End of an Era

So today is my bosses last day at work. He took this account from the brink of disaster to having the highest approval rating (by the customer) that is possible for the last 3 years running. He has been a great boss and mentor. He is moving on to bigger and better things and I wish him well.

But man it's gonna be weird. Theres a lot of stuff that we've accomplished here that would NEVER have happened without his guidance and creativity. He is truly a forward thinker. Farewell Mark, you will be missed.

In any case, lunch out was the call, and we all answered with a hearty and resounding, aye! SO lunch it was and no boot camp... its nice enough that I'll take Nate for a long walk tonight tho I think... I'm still so sore from Wednesday and Thursday that I'm not too worried about skipping a lifting session.

Fourth of July weekend is here already... its mid-summer and I'm still struggling to find my way thru my second year of weight loss and fitness training... sometimes it sucks, sometimes its wonderful... right now tho, its just freakin' hot!

Have a fabulous weekend and we'll see ya on Monday or Tuesday.

Ah HA! (a return to rewards based motivation)

So I desperately want one of these:

And I nearly have enough of these:

to walk into the dealership and pay for the one I want... BUT... I also have WAY too many of these:

Hanging around my belly and ass... so I'm thinking that if I can loose a bunch of

and finally see a number that is less than 145 come up where that 108.2 is on that picture consistantly for a couple of weeks then I will reward myself by taking my

right on down to the dealership and picking up my brand new

Sounds good, don't it?