ACK and Happy Anniversary to ME!

Didn't update yesterday (whoops!) but I've been so proud of my eating you wouldn't believe it! Only non-healthy thing I ate yesterday was ONE hershey's miniature (yeah... that's right... just one.) Didn't workout yesterday tho due to the fact that I conveniently forgot that today is my wedding anniversary and had neglected to buy my hubby a gift.

I have been planning this gift for a while... I knew what I wanted to get in a categorical sense, but not the specific item. So I spent the lunch hour shopping but didn't find the right one... went shopping after work and after FOUR stores FINALLY found one that met my qualifications and standards and was pretty nifty too... luckily it was also on sale.

So today my hubby is the proud owner of a very classy and not overly busy Citizen eco-drive watch. The last nice watch he had ended up in the garbage disposal (thanks to a then 3.5 year old terror who is now a very wonderful 6.5 year old child). It has roman numerals and a blue (but not that super popular hyper-shiny electric blue) face. Stainless steel band and casing with some brushed stainless accents. It is very classy if I do say so myself.

I think he's panicking now on my gift tho.

;)

(leave it to me to set the anniversary gift bar VERY VERY high!)

Today is leg day today is leg day!!!!

As Juju Said:

today is back to basics day.

I return to the real world and to this blog a bit bloated from sugar and salt... having not gone to the gym in a week, and a bit worn down from the holidays in general.

And yet today... it was back to basics day and it was up at 5:15, to the gym at 6 for an awesome workout with Alissa (Push). I will be focusing on Veggies and fruit and lean protein today and foregoing any dairy because I don't think my colon can take any more cheese.

I also remembered this morning as I hit the snooze why I love working out in the morning... I love working out in the morning because then its done... and I have the whole rest of the day to not think about how or when I'm going to get to the gym, because I already did... I'm done... for today at least.

I want to say a couple of things about Christmas this year... I know a LOT of people who are rejecting (all out) the mass consumerism that has overtaken the holidays, and having kids who are bombarded with advertising (even when the TV is OFF) for the latest everything, my hubby and I decided that this year each boy got one present... and that's what they got. Santa brought the requisite candy and some puzzles and a slinkey and some glow-sticks each... but I am really proud of how we didn't go overboard on the crap this year.

What baffled me tho... is how we ended up $400 lighter in the bank account than we'd expected... and then I remembered the food.

Ah well... it was a DAMNED good ham (and it still is damned good as leftovers) and its' not that big a deal that I used single-malt scotch in the glaze rather than burbon right? (I didn't have burbon... I DID have single-malt scotch).

But really... how does one spend that much cash on food? You buy alcohol, that's what you do. A few bottles of wine a case of beer, some champagne and a bottle of hard liquor and you've easily eaten up half that budget alone (mind you this is for consumption by family + guests!)

So one thing I've done the last couple of years is stop drinking for at least a month come New Years. Its on my list this year as well. Starting Jan 1 I am off the sauce for at least the month of January... and if things go well I may push for a while longer, we shal see.

Hope everyone had a happy holiday weekend... now get back to basics... you know you want to.

mmmmtea and english muffin with PBmmmmm (breakfast of champions!)

workout update

Was going to push and cardio but with my right-wrist acting up decided to pull instead.

Lat pull 3x12@60#
seated row 3x10@60#
Hypes - 3x10 unweighted
Upright Row - 3x10@10#
Bi/Tri cable superset - 2x10@30#, 1x10@40#
hammercurl to failure - 20+15@10#
Lat stretch down - 3@60#
25 minutes of HIIT on the eliptical - 269 cal.

Fan freakin tastic... tho I doubt I'll be able to straighten my arms tomorrow.

Giving

Sorry I didn't update on the workout Friday... it was TOUGH and I ended up only making it for 10 minutes on the rower and finished up my HIIT on the eliptical. Overall a very challenging workout.

TODAY, however... I have somthing more important to write about.

I am trying to instill into my kids the spirit of the holiday season and the importance of helping each other and giving to those less fortunate. Usually we do an angel tree and toys for tots and things like that... this year, in addition we'll be sending care packages to a squadron of the A company of the 386th Engineering Batallion stationed in Iraq.

I am not a Bush supporter. I do not agree with the war we are waging nor the politics that got us there... but the truth of the matter is that there are many men and women over in Iraq who do not have the loving support of a family at home. A lot of those "less fortunate" families we give presents to every Christmas are the same families whose sons and daughters join up right out of highschool in the hopes of earning enough money to go to college and better them selves to break the cycle of poverty that they've come from. So we'll be packing up a couple of boxes with books, DVDs, goodies from home, pictures of the US, drawings, ornaments, etc etc... and sending them to Iraq.

If you would also like to send a care package to this same squad (The squad commander has just requested mail for his team, but non-perrishable goodies (tho home-made is not allowed... and plain chocolate melts but m-n-ms are good), books, dvds, music cds, toiletries (eye drops and lip balm are highly requested) etc... would really make their day ) please keep the boxes small (less than 100 inches of length+girth... ) and send them to:

Spc. Michael Travino
A co. 386 ENG BN
Camp Caldwell, Iraq
APO AE 09374

Send packages Priority US mail... or they probably won't get there. If you enclose a letter I'd wager they'll write back.

If you'd like to find your own soldier or squad to support, please take a look at the MANY websites set up to get this info out to the public... there is a very good list here: http://www.defendamerica.mil/support_troops.html

I don't plan to stop participating in the charities I support here at home, but I'm adding this to the list... its not expensive, and it will make a difference.

ok... I'll step off the soapbox now.

a song...

sung to the tune of "Oh Holy Night"

Oh holy hell
My thighs are truly Screaming.
this is the day after leg punnishment.
Sore are my calves, my glutes and quads complaining
I can not sit, stand or walk without pain.

A thrill of hope, I'll someday press the full stack.
For yonder breaks, the seal of advil bottles.

Fall on my knees, but now I can not get up
Oh pain devine, oh pain from waist to floor.
Oh pain devine, oh pain, oh pain devine.

-lexysmash

Happy Friday - Pull and HIIT on tap for lunch time... ie... right freakin now.

Wish me luck!

Couldn't Skip Leg Day

Kept the weights the same this week as last except for the Leg-press. I started at 175 (instead of 155) banged out 27 and then did a 10 rep dropset from there. I also took some time to shake out the poor leggies whilst still sitting on the sled before standing up and was MUCH more successfull in supporting my own weight with my VERY beat jello legs.

I will be doing Pull + HIIT tomorrow (thanks Rach!)

Today is going to be interesting. I'm forcing the hubby and kids (and dog) to get a family portrait done. We're going to see Jen Brinkman and hopefully it will go well... final results will be posted.

Also have a Dr. appt for my oldest... luckily those tend to be fairly short and painless. I may have to bribe the whole family with dinner out just to get them to cooperate this afternoon... we'll see.

wish me luck!

You'd think I was 90 years old or somthing.

I forgot my shoes.

I know... I know...

but DAGNABBITALL today is LEG DAY for cripessake!!!

and you all know how I *heart* leg day.

I may have to do a combo leg+push day tomorrow... what say ye?

what is WRONG with people?

Seriously!

I am so freaking sick to death of hearing people talk about "cardio-cardio-cardio" to burn fat and loose weight... gotta be thin thin thin ya know... make sure you can fit those size 6s or 4s or 2s and constantly drop scale weight till you reach your "GOAL NUMBER" or whateverthe fuck.

Well sure... if you want to do "cardio cardio cardio" for the rest of your freakin life and subsist on salads and poached chicken breasts. because you've lost so much lean tissue that your metabolism has tanked and your body is in starvation mode any "slip up" in your diet or skipped workout equals instantaious creation of fat stores and weight gain.

I'm sorry... but you can take your, "cardio cardio cardio" advice and stuff it right back up that pinched ass from whence it came and leave me to my iron.

YES it is important to have a healthy cardiovascular system!!! ABSOLUTELY it is! YES cardio is an important part of any ballanced excercise habit.
YES YES YES you should get your heart rate up and sustain it there to improve your overall HEALTH...

But if you're spending HOURS on the Dreadmill every week for the SOLE purpose of loosing that last bit of belly fat, or fitting into the next smaller size, or dropping another (meaningless) pound, there is somthing VERY VERY VERY wrong and you've left a HUGE (and I do mean HUGE) hole in your routine and in your psyche (which ALSO needs to be healthy when you're questing for self improvement).

MUSCLE is metabolically ACTIVE tissue... it EATS to LIVE... which means it BURNS calories even when its not working for you... even when you're passed out dead to the world asleep under your comfy flannel sheets and big fat down comforter. Build muscle and you can EAT MORE without gaining fat... You'll have a tight firm ass and yes, you'll probably fit in those next-size smaller jeans... but the bonus is that you won't have to live on egg-whites to stay there.

FAT is not... FAT is hormonally active (it produces estrogen... yes, even in men... why do you think the morbidly obese end up with gynecomastia?) but it is metabolically pretty much inert. You can cardio all you want but if you don't build muscle you'll be a smaller version of your flabby fat self and over time it will become HARDER and HARDER to continue your downward (healthward?) trend.

So cardio your ass off... because if you do, you will end up with no ass... just some baggy skin and fat that is STILL dimpled from celulite and flabby because there is no muscle behind that adipose tissue to hold it up. And you won't be able to eat anything without bloating right up and filling those fat cells with every morsel of energy they can grab from your metabolically compromised self.

Is being skinny really worth diet lemonade and clear broth the rest of your life?

Fuck no.

So please stop preaching to me or anyone else that "cardio cardio cardio" will burn the fat... because I don't fucking CARE. I want to be FIRM and healthy and fabulous with the appetite to feed my muscles anything they want... not weak and gaunt and flabby and living off non-fat cottage cheese to maintain my pathetic figure.

Fuck that.

/rant

*Sir Mix-a-Lot is in my head now... "I like big butts and I can not lie..."

TREE!!!

We got a TRISMAS TREE!!! Yippee!!! It's been about 3 years since we've had a real x-mas tree. We have a crappy $100 fake one... but I just couldn't bear looking at it as I tried to put it together this year. It was abismal, and horrible... and I bannished it to the closet from whence it came, and the boys and I piled into the truck and bought a Noble Fir and brought it home and filled the house with the scent of Firry goodness!

With my custody arrangement with Val's dad we alternate holidays, and Val is home with us for Christmas this year, and damnit all if I'm not going to have a real tree for him! (and me).

So unless you count a very spirited game of zerbert-tag with the boys on Sunday there was no exercise to be found... so technically I missed a workout last week. I decided that yeah... I missed it, but its not the end of the world, and I can do some extra cardio this week just to mollify my internal demons. Workout this morning was GOOD!

Lat Pull - 3x10@#60#
Seated Row - 3x10@60#
Hypes - 3x10 w/5# plate
Upright Row - 3x10@10#dbs
Hammer Curl to failure - 20+9@10#dbs
Lat Stretch Down - 3@60#
10 minute HIIT on eliptical - 1m warmup, 8m 30/30 sec intervals, 1m cool

Tonight is my VERY LAST Anatomy and Physiology class... I don't have to take the test because of my high A average... (whee!!!) we're having a potlach... wish me dietary will-power!

Oh... and all hail Mama Molly's Sport-Caught, Home Cured - Smoked and Canned, Wild Alaskan Silver Salmon (YUMMMMMM!!!!)

hangover

You know it was a good date when you're hungover the next morning.

no workout... I'll make it up on sunday.

my legs STILL hurt... hooray for LEG DAY!!!

werk sucks the life from every cell of my body.

-have a great weekend all!

push

whew... I thought I was supposed to do another HIIT session on the rowing machine today, but it turns out the schedule called for PUSH... which was MUCH better in my opinion! Walking today has been a bit... uh... challenging. Especially stairs. Mostly the going down, but the up hurts too. I'm really really hoping that tomorrow won't be worse than today. I did some warming and stretching while at the gym to help work out the acid, but I think I'll need to do more later on tonight.

Speaking of tonight... Tonight I have a date! We are going on a date and we have a baby-sitter for the kids and we're going to have dinner and drinks at a very popular spot in down-town Portland called Saucebox. I am stoked! I am firmly of the opinion that mommies and daddies need date nights away from the kids as frequently as possible (which usually works out to once or twice a year, but once or twice a month would probably be better).

As for todays workout... it was good.

Shoulder Press - 3x10@15#
Bench Press - 3x10@45# (empty bar... *sigh*)
decline flyes (yeah, I switched it up... gotaproblem?) 3x10@15# (last set was VERY VERY difficult)
Shoulder Death - 3x9@5#
Pushups to Failure - 30+10
Flye Stretchdown - 5@5#
Swissball crunches - many many many (straight and oblique)
A little bit of self-indulgent posing in the yoga room

All in all a solid session, but slightly less satisfying than falling on the floor because my legs won't support me post workout.

to megan (and anyone else interested):

Ok... when I transfered over to MT I lost the first month or so of entries I'd created in blogger... (holy crap that was TWO YEARS AGO now!!!) back then I talked a lot more about the nitty gritty of why I decided to get fit and how I was going to do it. I wish I had been able to save all of those entries because they were really important to understanding that I started SLOW... and when I mean slow I mean VERY VERY SLOW.

I bought some SUPER cheep 3, 5 and 8# dumbells at the local "play-it-again-sports" store (re-cycled athletic equipment fairly cheep)... and began the most beginner weight training routine 3 times a week. I got the workout from Krista over at KristaSmash (who is also the inspiration for and namesake of this site). Jim (vw) pointed me to her a long time ago and after reading her site I realized that I didn't just want to lose weight, I wanted to completely and permanently change the shape of my body... and if I wanted to do that, I had to lift heavy things repeatedly... and that's mostly what I've been doing (with some stints of cardio in the form of running, spinning, and eliptical training thrown in for good measure).

Anyway, so that's where I started, with Krista's absolute beginner workouts. Then I picked up Tami Lee Webb's DVD "I want that body"... which I think is a great at-home weight workout for the average jane and can be made more challengins by simply adding weight.

I'm not sure where my lifting skill level puts me in the beginner/intermediate/advanced range... I know I have good form. I know I am pretty strong (tho have lost some ground there in the last few months, but it will return quickly), but I'm certainly no power lifter, and I still can't do more than one chin up... If you want to see what just about ANY lift looks like go to EXRX.NET and look at all of their animations.

Diet and cardio will help you loose weight... but the ONLY way to PERMANENTLY improve your metabolism so you can eat more without gaining fat (which I enjoy) is to build muscle. Period. End of story.

Hope that helps, Megan!!!

*grunt*

I love leg day.

Have I said that before? I'm pretty sure I have... just the sheer MASS a person is able to move with their legs is pretty damned amazing. I have jello legs and I am CERTAIN they will be ouchey tomorrow... and that's ok...

The challenge is going strong, and I feel like I'm getting back into the groove (which is a very pleasant side effect of a challenge!) Unfortunately, due to mitigating circumstances, I am not allowed to be on a reduced calorie diet starting next monday. I'll be taking some medication and doing some procedures that require I'm healthy and well-fed... so calories will have to jump up to maintenance levels. I'm ok with it... its really more important to me that I'm healthy, fit, building muscle and staying strong and active... so I'll live with a few extra lbs of bodyfat as I go thru this phase.

Ok... on to the nitty gritty:
Warmup - 6 minutes on TM - walking+inclines up to 15
Smith Squat - 3x10@70#
Calf Raise - 3x20@35#
SLDL - 3x10@30#dbs (so that would make 60# total weight... but you know that)
Leg Extension - 3x10@60#
Seated Leg Press - ok... this one was a doozy... 155#x40 (was supposed to be to failure, but I should have started heavier) 135#x10, 115#x10, 95#x10, 75#x10, 55#x10, 35#x10, 15#x10, unweightedx10.

then I tried to get up.

and promptly collapsed onto my knees.

HA!

So that has seriously never happened to me before. And all I could do was sit there and laugh. I sat on the floor and shook my legs out a bit, stretched a little and was then able to stand up. I did some Lunge Stretchdowns and a LOT of other leg stretching... then for good measure busted out about 100 swissball crunches... and then I was so done it wasn't even funny.

I'm hoping, actually... that when I am ready to go to the bathroom... I'll be able to get up out of my chair... it's a long shot tho.

Monday night and Tuesday morn

The snooze button, she won this morning. I could not resist her siren song. *sigh* Class till 9pm, Monday Night Football (how freakin disapointing was that?) till 11 (despite the awesome power that is the 30 second TIVO skip)... alarm at 5am? No freakin way. 6:20 rolled around and I forced myself to get up and get to work.

Eliptical will be there at lunch time... no worries.

I have to mention here how proud of my son Val I am. He's blossoming into such a wonderful student and child and citizen that I'm just about to melt... and believe me, if you understood his full history and how much I've struggled to parent him you would know what a HUGE emotional triumph this is. He is reading to me... actually VOLUNTEERING to READ to me. This from a child who I knew could read 6 months ago, but refused to do so for no particular reason. Hooray for good teachers and good administrators and people who actually care to help challenging children. Hooray for you all!!

I'm sort of falling into the groove of the holiday despite the fact that I still don't have my tree up (this WILL happen this weekend!!!) and have just about zero percent of my christmas shopping completed. There's still plenty of time... right?

UPDATE: Yes, yes, yes... I did my HIIT on the eliptical... about 375cals worth, m'kay? So get offa my backside already!

lack-luster workout...

It wasn't a bad workout... but it just didn't blow my skirt up either.

Jumped rope for a few minutes to warm up Then we Pulled -
Lat Pull - 3x10@60#
Seated Row - 3x10@60#
Hypes - 3x10@no-weight (I'll add weight next week)
HammerCurl to failure - 35+14@#
Lat Stretch down - 60#x3
Swissball Crunches - 40, 50oblique, 20, 20oblique

I broke down this morning and decided to clip my nails. Lifting and fingernails just don't make a happy combination... I mean... I certainly wish I could keep my lovely long (NATURAL) nails, but having ripped one off while dismounting the seated-rowing machine this morning, the truth of the situation became abundantly clear to me.

I went all day yesterday with no coffee

I only have two weeks of Anatomy and Physiology class left.

I am hungry... toast with pb and whey this morning... banana and whey now. Somthing else in two hours... we'll see.

the snooze she is my mistress...

and she calls to me like crack rock to the adict... whispering in my ear... "its ok, you only have to do 25 minutes of hiit on the rower today... its no big deal... snooze a little..."

You will notice that the above whisper contains the words "only, HIIT and rower" all in a row... and the lucidracy of the sentence hit me as the alarm went off the second time and I realized that if anyone (other than the voices in my head) had said those words aloud to me I would have bitch-slapped 'em to next tuesday.

So up it was, and english muffin with pb, and whey-protein were on the menu. Out the door, down the road and the gym was dead (hooray!) I'll post my HIIT intervals below. I wasn't going to fitday my food, but I got worried after I scarfed down a dungeness crab for dinner (yes, the whole thing) so I slammed it into fitday... I'll probably keep doing that. No promises tho.

I am annoyed that the calorie counter on the rower said 260 after my HIIT... I'm not sure I believe it, but still...

Concept II Rowing - HIIT
5m warmup
2m sprint
2m recovery (faster than warmup but still pretty damned slow)
2m sprint
2m recovery
30s sprint
30s recovery
30s sprint
30s recovery
30s sprint
30s recovery
30s sprint
30s recovery
1m sprint
1:15 recovery
45s sprint
5m cool down
3m extra pull (to get to 5000 meters)

Let me just say that Rowing HIIT after PUSH day is a bit... challenging to say the least. I think I hurt somthing... or maybe everything. (ok, not really... its just the happy day after a good workout soreness... but it's awfully noticeable after the above).

Cobb salad for lunch... mmmmmm.

the rosy ass crack of dawn

came earlier than expected this morning. Which is not to say that i didn't get adequate sleep, because for once I set myself a bed-time and I stuck to it! (9:30 pm if anyone cares) and I actually awoke spontaniously at 3:15am when hubby usually gets home from work to hear him puttering around downstairs (which he does before comming to bed so he doesn't squirm all over and wake me up as he's winding down)... and then promptly fell back asleep. I allowed myself one hit off the crack-pipe that is the 8 minute snooze button and then hauled my sorry ass outta bed... and it felt VERY early indeed.

Threw a piece of whole wheat toast with about 1/2 tbs of peanut butter (had to improvise because I wasn't able to get to the store for eggwhites and such last night) and a scoop of Champion Nutrition Pure Whey (chocolate of course) down my throat and headed out the door... somehow it still took me half an hour to get from bed to car... I swear sometimes I live in the center of a space/time vortex. Must do more night-before prep tonight.

gym was busier than I expected for 6am. Did the PUSH workout:
Shoulder Press 3x10 - 15#dbs
Bench Press 3x10 - 20#dbs
incline flye 3x10 - 15#dbs
Shoulder Death (tm) 3x8 - 5#dbs
Pushups to fail - 25+4
Flye weighted stretch down - 5#dbs (these felt good)
Swiss ball crunches - 30 flat, 50 oblique, 15 high flat (basically a top half crunch on ball never returning to full down), 15 high oblique.

Drying my hair post workout was a bit challenging to say the least.

Suckin on my protein (in about 6oz skim milk lest someone gets the impression I spoon the drystuff right into my mouth) and 2 sm. tangerines... YUM! Oh... and as a tribute to Jim - Tazo Refresh tea (thats mint for anyone who hasn't tried it.) oversteeped with 1/2 packet of splenda.

Anyone think they can do this challenge with me? I dare ya to keep up.

my trigger... and some external motivation

When I first wanted to get in shape my trigger was developing the roll of film in which I found my before picture. I was mortified.

As I sit here in total apathy I am not sure what I need to trigger me this time... but its GOT to be better than that damned before picture. And then there's always shame. When I started working out I had a sticker on my computer monitor that said, "Shame Based Motivation." People in general didn't get it... but what it meant to me was that someone out there didn't think I could do it and it was worth it for me to prove them wrong and prove myself right... I was answering to myself and also to that misguided opinion of me that was out there. Shame is not necessarily the best motivator in the world... but having someone else to answer to can help even the most apathetic sot.

So now... as I continue to sit on my ever-expanding ass... a challenge has been issued and I've been told, "bet you can't..." and even tho I know that the challenge is only half-hearted and the challenger really bets that I can... I will take up that challenge and for the next two weeks this will be my plan... (its under Continue Reading... if you're interested) and I shal not waver from it as the potential blow to my psyche could be too much.

apathy

its hard to break this cycle now that it is deeply ingrained in my daily life...

stay up too late, wake up too late, rush to work, short lunch because I was late to work, get home, scarf food, kids activities, kids to bed, decompress infront of the TV... sleep.

Oh... I also discovered (realized... woke up?) that I'm pretty severely dehydrated. I thought I was hungry last night until I stopped and thought back over the day and realized that the only water I'd consumed was to swallow my pill that morning... and its been that way since the hospital... possibly even before.

I've fallen back into care-taker mode. Thinking constantly about what hubby can and can't eat and what we can do to try to prevent future "flare ups" of the disease... trying to potty train a 3 year old and keep up with a 6 year old... etc... etc... the problem (and there is always a problem with single mindedness) is that in being a care-taker I let go of my self-care. I am suffering. My fitness is suffering. I am exhausted so much of the time and yet I haven't broken the cycle.

I have no excuse. I simply have not done it.

I tell people who come to me for advice that they must take care of themselves first in order to be able to care for their families, passions, jobs, whatever. I tell them that a happy healthy person makes a much better partner, lover, wife, husband, employee, manager, business owner, parent, whatever. I have the knowledge, I help others to find it in themselves...

maybe I just need a mirror.

Someone to tell me.

tell me, please?