My belly (and thus waist measurement) is getting smaller.
The latest rage in the fitness book aisle at your local mega-book store is Drs. Oz and Roizen. "You on a Diet." Dr. Oz has been on Oprah several times now (cause, you know, that's the true test of any diet-related publication, right?), and even did a show on Discovery about his book/plan. What he focuses on isn't weight, its waist measurement... he's decided that the largest healthy waist measurement for a woman is 32.5" (you can suck it in when you measure) and for men is 35". Ideally you want to get below those numbers to maximize the health benefits of getting rid of belly fat. Interestingly enough, one of the main eating points they make is to eat the same things for breakfast and lunch nearly every day... "people who restrict food choices lose more weight."
In my case, I have definitely found that to be true. The fewer choices I have, the more likely I am to make a good one. The other thing they emphasize is emptying your kitchen of the crap and resolving to NEVER bring it back in. I got to do a lot of that when I moved... brand new kitchen and empty pantry to fill with nothing but healthy foods. I think I've done pretty well so far. There are a few crackers and such for the kids, but they're minimal and kept on their shelf, which I rarely look at anyway.
Right now my waist is 32". According to the good Dr's I am below the danger point... I am, however, no where near healthy... at least not in my book. I think that overall "You on a Diet" is a very good idea for the average, sedentary, overweight American, and I'm glad it focuses on the tape measure instead of the scale... but for someone who really wants to be fit and healthy, its really just a starting point. The only exercise recommended is 30 minutes of brisk walking every day and some basic resistance exercises done with zero weight. Like I said... a good starting point.
In any case, its worth checking out of the library, but I wouldn't buy it myself. Most of the info is online anyway at their website (Google "you on a diet" and you'll find it).
Enjoy!
I've been meaning to post about tea for a while. I know that everyone is aware of the benefits that have been shown to come from drinking green tea... but did you know that ALL REAL TEA (black, white, oolong, green) carries the same benefit. The only reason we heard about green tea is that it was the first to be tested. So if you don't like green tea... NO WORRIES!
Heres a list of recent studies on the benefits of tea!
The greatest benefits have been shown to come from drinking at least 4 cups of tea per day (not a problem for me) and as long as its tea leaves from the camelia plant, it doesn't matter what variety it is. Tea can help lower blood pressure, stimulate digestion, and help you lose weight.
So drink your tea!
I've been thinking a lot recently about my personal experience of hunger. Being of the education level and socioeconomic class that I am, it is unlikely that I will ever be in a position to be unwillingly hungry. I have spent my life in the company of abundance... not necessarily financial abundance, but I was definitely never without food. Because of this my experience of hunger is incredibly limited. I am familiar with the general sensation of hunger, and I am well aware of how my body processes satiety and even over-indulgence... but I don't know that I REALLY understand what its like, how it feels, to be hungry.
Weight loss "experts" would have you believe that when trying to lose weight you should never allow yourself to feel hungry. Eat before you get hungry, but eat just enough to keep you from that feeling of hunger for another couple of hours. Metabolically this is a good strategy. The prolonged sensation of hunger turns the metabolism down... and reduces your overal caloric expenditure in an effort to conserve in case of true famine. But I think what people do is mis-interpret the idea that "not being hungry" really means "feeling full." These are, unfortunately COMPLETELY different things. The sensation of NOT being hungry is not synonamous with the sensation of being full. Feeling full is really a metabolically disasterous place to be. If you FEEL full you have over consumed and are training your body to be able to consume more than you need on a repeated basis.
In the last few weeks I have been trying to find ways to experience the sensation of hunger without dammaging my metabolism. Its probably not working... but I believe, for me, that its important that I understand the difference between "not hungry" and "full." So to find that place I have been allowing myself to get hungry. Sometimes very hungry... and while this will NEVER replicate TRUE hunger (in a global sense) it is making me MUCH more aware of how much I really need to eat to get to the point of being not hungry. This morning, for breakfast, I ordered scrambled eggs with french-toast and bacon. I was hungry, I was breaking my nightly fast... and yet... to feel full, I ate less than 1/3 of the food I ordered. I started with the eggs, and that alone nearly took the hunger completely away. 1/2 of a piece of french toast and I was no longer hungry. 1 and 1/2 pieces and 4 pieces of bacon remained on my plate. I could have eaten it all, and probably would have gotten to the point of feeling "full." Not wanting to get there, i stopped eating. This was at 8:45a. I am not yet hungry again. Yet, if i had eaten everything... I would probably be hungry again at about the same time I will be, even having only eaten enough to satisfy the hunger.
I don't understand, really, why feeling hunger is such a bad thing. I can understand that often, because we live with such abundance, the feeling of hunger will trigger over-consumption in so many people... but I also believe that there is a marked lack of education in our society about the inner workings of the human body and the difference between eating to the point of not being hungry and eating to the point of feeling full. I never learned anything about this until I decided to do some research on my own... and now I believe that if I never allow myself to feel hungry, I will probably chronically over-eat. I have to FEEL Hunger to know when the sensation has abated... when I've eaten enough to satisfy the sensation and yet NOT gorge and over-stuff my stomach to the point of stretching. I don't know that human beings are EVER supposed to feel "Full." I think if we could change that one perception, alone, the obesity epidemic could be curbed significantly.
Give it a shot... let yourself feel hunger... and let it last 30 minutes to an hour. Feel the sensation, examine it, analyze it and figure out just how minor or intense it is for you. Really listen to your body to hear what it's telling you that it wants... and THEN only eat as much as you need to no longer feel hungry. You'll probably need to eat really slowly to make sure you don't over-eat... or eat past the point of no longer being hungry. How long are you able to keep from being hungry again on that ammount of food? How much difference is there between the ammount you ate to not feel hungry and how much it would take to feel full? I'm going to hazard to guess that the differences in ammounts are profound... but the differences in length of satiety will be quite small.
I guess I'd better do my homework now...
I haven't been good about recording what I eat, but I can summarize it very easily here:
Breakfast - egg and tea
Snack - cottage cheese and fruit
Lunch - Chicken breast on salad
Snack - 1/2 protein bar
Dinner - protein and veggies (and maybe a little carb, but I've been avoiding it if possible)
Today brought a solid 180 on the scale. I had only hoped to maintain this week as I haven't worked out at all... but this just shows me that dietary discipline is really important in the grand scheme of things.
so... officially 10lbs from pre-pregnancy... and 20 from where I want to be by the end of the year.
Its a good thing. ;)
Haven't done this in a while... but the scale is finally reflecting a little of what I know is going on, so here we go:
Friday September 1 - 181.5
I had hoped to be out of the 180s by the end of August. Ah well, these things happen. My last weigh in for July was 184, so... all of 2.5 lbs for the month.
The good thing is that I'm finally starting to plan ahead again. Getting back into the habit of planning is probably the most difficult thing for me. I plan EVERYTHING, so when it comes to my meals and workouts... I'm just sorta... meh about the whole thing. But the pendulum is swinging... and the fat is falling and the muscle is building, and that's all a girl can ask for.
I began logging my food in fitday again today. Its pretty bleak, but it will improve over the next week as I get my supplies built up and am able to create the high protein meals I need to consume on a regular basis. Its been a while (last entry was in September when I was eating for 3) since I made the effort to keep track of what I was eating, and its time.
I've been easing back into the fitness saddle, so to speak... I gave myself a 10 day challenge to put on the shoes every day. I made 8 days out of 10 and am feeling good about returning to the habit. I am itching for a gym where I can lift on a regular basis tho... I wonder if I can figure out a way to get down to the campus a few times a week.
Weight hasn't changed much since I lost the trip bloat. I'm hanging out at 187-188. I put a goal of 155 by the end of December in Fit Day. I'm not sure if I will keep that as an actual goal, but it would only require a loss of 1.25 lbs per week... and I'm fairly certain that can be attained. Weigh ins will be Fridays in any case, and I'll be posting them regularly.
Its just a choice... and one I'm happy to make.
I am munching on dried apricots right now. I freakin love these things. In addition to their colon happy effects, they taste GREAT, have a cool texture, and are high in vitamin A and Iron. I have been trying to avoid all of the Haloween candy that is still (for some reason) lingering around my house (ARGH!)... and the apricots make for a nice sweet snack that has at least SOME nutritional value.
My challenge lately has been in the water drinking arena. I need to be drinking at least 4-5 litres a day and I'm getting 2.5-3. My blood volume is expanding by up to 100% so I need the fluids to support that, but dangit all if I can suck it down fast enough. I think I may start having a pint immediately uppon waking... that will help a bit I'm sure.
I'm loving how big my uterus is already - usually around week 20 the fundus reaches the belly-button but mine (at 13 weeks) is already there. I was able to hear both babies with the dopler last night - Baby A was at 153bpm and Baby B was at 144. I'm doing well, they're doing well and hopefully things will be uneventful from here on out (I know I know... but I don't believe in jynxes)
:)
I broke down and tried a c0ke-zero today.
I'm not a big fan of artificial sweeteners in general, and I'm not a soda drinker anyway... but there comes a time every now and again, when a fizzy cold jolt of sweet sounds good... and so it was today.
Honestly... I'm impressed.
I don't taste the normal aspartame aftertaste that I do with regular diet c0ke, so that's nice... and its cold and fizzy and sweet... add the bonus shot of caffeine and you have an all around good time.
I can't believe I just endorsed a diet cola.
what the fuck is happening here?
Ok... just to clarify, I am not telling you to go out and stock your pantry with this cr@p... its full of chemicals that are BAD for your body... think of all the energy you'll have to expend (poor kidneys) to rid yourself of this cr@p... DON'T DRINK IT!!!
but if you have to have somthing cold, fizzy, carbonated and caffeinated every now and then (like once or twice a year), this cr@p isn't too bad. (think c0ke will pay me for my opinion?)
In other news, I rode my bike to work today (yay!) and again it took about 40 minutes to make the 7 mile trek... this pisses me off. Granted the course has a LOT (read greater than 60%) of uphill... and some of it is tough... but it's 7 measley miles!!! I will definitely be improving as I ride it more and get some stamina built up... but I would certainly be a hinderance to Team Discovery Channel in the mountain stages this week.
Dinner last night was fabulous.
While I will maintain that food is fuel, there is no reason you can not enjoy the fuel you take in on a regular basis. On the contrary I think it is IMPORTANT to enjoy the visceral experience that eating can bring. Fueling your body with healthy, whole food that TASTES GOOD is a "good thing" (tm) because it satisfies the pleasure centers of the brain... and I don't know about you... but I LIKE the pleasure centers of my brain... and while eating to fuel my body is priority numero uno, I still spice my chicken breast 8 ways from Sunday... and grill my veggies to add some char-flavor... and cook my brown rice with chicken broth for a savory kick.
That being said... Dinner last night R to the O to the C-K-E-D.
Appetizer was the pupu platter... salmon pot stickers, sweet-potato spring rolls, mushroom dumpling, pork and shrimp shu mai, tapioca chicken dumplings (not my favorite), and vietnamese salad rolls. Then we shared a Green Papaya Salad which Mike LOVED but was a bit too tart for me, tho the texture of the grated green papaya was really awesome. I had the crabcakes and grilled tenderloin of beef. About four ounces of the most tender and luscious (grass-fed, organic) beef I have ever tasted, and the crab cakes were firm, hot, flavorful, NOT greasy and garnished with a mango and thai-basil relish that just kicked ass. Mike had the Javanese roasted Salmon, which may very well be the very best Salmon in the world. The bartender whipped up a custom drink for Mike before dinner as well which he coined the "Brando" 1/2 oz brandy, 1/2 oz Godiva Dark, 1/2 oz Godiva White, 1/2 oz of some nut-based liquor, cream, cinnimon, shake with ice, serve in a martini glass with chocolate shavings on top. FREAKIN AWESOME!!! I had 2 glasses of red wine and we shared the crispy rice-pudding spring rolls with chocolate dipping sauce for desert.
Awesome meal, awesome food, not too much of it (perfect portions) and a good time was had by all.
Fitness wise I'm a little torn about what to do today. I have upper-body and running on the menu, but I have a VERY VERY tight muscle (almost to the point of being pulled) feeling behind my right knee extending from hamstring down into my calf. This does not bode well for running... so I may just do some upper body and call it a day.
I've been spot on all this week with eating, water, and exercise and rather than injur myself it would seem prudent to try to heal a bit, so I can rage on into next week full steam.
I don't do this often but thought I'd share a recipie:
My favorite roasted potatos:
4 small red potatos cut in 1/2" cubes (by small I mean no bigger than about 3" diameter)
2T dijon mustard
1T olive oil
1t chopped garlic (2-3 cloves)
healthy pinch of kosher salt
ground pepper
mix everything from the mustard down in a medium bowl, whisk together thoroughly. Dump in the potatos and toss to coat. Spread taters on a baking sheet (lightly sprayed with cooking spray) and roast for 15 minutes. Stir and continue roasting for 10-15 more minutes checking every 5 for tenderness.
this will make 2-3 servings but DON'T make too much because you WILL eat everything you make... 's all I'm sayin.
;)
b
Renee and I have been chatting a lot about daily diet and the power of food. The fact of the matter is that food is fuel, nothing more, nothing less... however, the power we assign to food to provide comfort, solace, mind-numbing relief, etc... gives food a role that it was never meant to take. The role of friend.
That bag of chips-ahoy you ate when you were distraught over a relationship hurdle, problem at work, financial disaster? You made it your emotional crutch, your friend who would never give you bad advice, never betray you, never refuse to be there for you. A cookie should not be held to the level that other human beings in our lives are held. And it is unfortunate that oftentimes the humans in our lives aren't nearly as reliable as good old food.
Food is not your friend. Food is not my friend. Food is Fuel. Period.
And so, in an act of solidarity, and because I, also, have been using food for MANY reasons outside of fueling my body lately, today begins the R&B FIF Challenge (The Renee and Brenna Food Is Fuel Challenge). 3 weeks of eating on plan (doesn't matter what that plan is, as long as its out there, and we follow it) in an effort to return food to its right-full place in our lives.
I will put my meal plans in Fit Day the night before and I will follow that plan each day. I'm behind for today right now, but I'll go get things in there asap.
I want to be able to emote, to express, to deal with stress and feelings and hurt without turning to food. To do that, I must practice. This is where I begin.
Workout plans for this week are thus:
Monday - upper body weights and 40 minutes running
Tuesday - Hot Yoga (lunch - 45 minutes)
Wednesday - 60 minutes running
Thursday - Hot Yoga (lunch - 45 minutes)
Friday - upper body weights and 40 minutes running
Saturday - Hot Yoga (Full Class)
Sunday - Rest, recover... do laundry... etc.
This weekend was fabulous. I was tanked after Helvetia, but I went down town with my older son to catch part of the Rose Festival Parade and some of the Dragon Boat Races... we missed the races (suckky traffic, no-where to park) but we caught the tail end of the parrade which he thought was pretty durned cool. I don't know yet how zambo did... but I'll post later! Sunday was CLEAN THE FREAKIN HOUSE day... the boys rooms are clean, the kitchen is clean, the living room is clean 95% of the laundry is done, and I even washed the inside and outside of the livingroom windows and the sliding glass door. It was a good weekend.
cheers!
I love that my cafeteria at work makes individual sized custom whole-wheat crust pizzas. Sure they're loaded with cheese (but they don't have to be) and you have to wait 3.5 minutes for them to bake as you're sucking the aroma of baking pizza thru your nose and trying not to salivate on the floor... but they're AWESOME... and did I mention they use Bob's Red Mill whole-wheat flour? YUM! I usually get ham or chicken sausage and pineapple when I get them... which isn't very often because I'm ususally in a rush and don't have time to wait for that damned pizza oven... but when I do... "heaven." sigh.
In any case, yesterday was a lovely day off from everything and today I was hoping to get to Bikram Yoga, but it didn't happen due to work constraints so I bopped over to the gym and put in 3.1 miles on the dreadmill... now to be honest I could have run outside. It is GORGEOUS with a capital G-O-R-G-E-O-U-and S outside and a perfect cool temperature to run, but I wanted to run a specific distance today (3.1 miles) so I stayed in on the TM where I could gauge distance. I covered the distance in just about 33:35, which made me pretty happy. I ran the first mile at 5.5 mph, the second at 5.7 mph (to get that negative split in there) and the third I ran at 5.5 again but bumped it up to 6 mph for the last .15 mile to get my HR way up. it was a good run, and I am glad I got it in.
My only issue today was equipment related. The shorts I brought to run in wanted to crawl up my inner thighs so I had to pause between miles 1 and 2 to pull the damned legs down (these are bicycle type shorts so they shouldn't have been doing this) so my thighs wouldn't chaffe... someday my thighs won't chaffe... it will be so.
I have some news on the "get lexy preggers with someone elses baby" plans but I haven't gotten the "official word" yet, so I'll spill when I do. Things are looking good tho, so don't worry.
oh... and if you haven't already today... get off your ass and move a little, m'kay?
I just scarfed down half of a grilled cheese (from @pplebees, yes white bread and american cheese and alltogether too much margarine) that was left over from last night and which I'd re-warmed in the oven for the youngest demon's dinner. I didn't even THINK about it going into my mouth and down my throat until I decided I needed somthing to wash it down with... I don't remember what it tasted like.
I put it in my mouth, and then it was gone.
Mindless eating FRIGHTENS me. Seriously. I was doing VERY well today with my eating (check fit-day, I don't lie) and I was NOT hungry after just finishing my dinner of wheat-pasta with chicken italian sausage. I don't even LIKE american cheese all that much (gimme a smoked gouda or a good provelone anyday)... but there was no control in that sandwich, there wasn't even conscious thought, there was just rapid fire consumption.
I'm not angry about it, its not going to kill my day... but it definitely frightens me because I don't like the feeling that I'm not present at any moment in my life... and I most certainly wasn't HERE and NOW when I scarfed that thing, I was definitely somewhere else, and to be sure there is nowhere that is more important than here and now for me.
In other news, I dreamed I was hanging out and partying with Bam Margera last night and confessed that I'd never had a 40oz malt liquor beverage in my life and he made it his mission to change that fact. (That is in fact, true... I have never consumed a 40oz malt liquor beverage in my life). Needless to say it turned into a VERY interesting dream.
So yesterday was RECOCKULOUS nutrition wise for me. I was unprepared, I hadn't planned, I was in pain... I ate whatever was presented to me and yet, somehow, I still kept it under 1600 calories for the day... and I'm fairly certain that I'm not under-estimating the quantities of what I ate. What REALLY sucks is that so much of it was CRAP... empty calories, lots of sugar... and yes... today I feel the bloat.
What I needed was protein and glycogen... I took well-good care of the glycogen... but my protein for the day was abismal.
Even when I'm not training I try to get at least 1gm of Protein per pound of lean bodyweight (around 113-115lbs) per day. I got about half that yesterday... when I'm training hard, like I am now... I definitely could use a bit more.
So, once again, its time to refocus energies on dietary discipline... prep and plan.
And just in case anyone wants to come watch me Paddle for Zamboanga our practice schedule is below:
Saturdays: on the water at 9:30a-11:30a
Sundays: on the water at 4:00p-5:00p
Mondays: on the water at 7:00p-8:00p (I don't go to this practice)
Wednesdays: on the water at 8:00p-9:00p
Every day but saturday we're in the "fancy pants" boats (thanks hollumns)... saturday we're in the "six-sixteens" or long-boats which are much easier to move thru the water than the fancy pants ones.
Oh... and if you show up early you'll get to see us doing military calisthenics in the little circle by the flag-pole at the river-place hotel... count with me, won't you? "one-two-three-ONE-one-two-three-TWO..."
I'm trying to figure out if I should be doing upper-body weights workouts with all of this rowing... I don't really have a good day to do them on that allows for any recovery before its time to row again... maybe Monday but MAN... I sure like having Monday as a rest day after the weekend... hmmm...
prepped a LOT of food tonight.
Laura's Lean Ground Beef (4% fat before you cook/drain it) made into taco meat with onions
Grilled Cajun Chicken
Stir-Fried pineapple-garlic teriyaki chicken
shredded chicken with taco spices
I bought two bags of pre-prepped romaine lettuce, baby carrots, cottage cheese and low-fat vanilla yogurt for my protein smoothies... I am going to try to make peanut butter protein fudge (pb mixed with vanilla protein powder until its almost as firm as a powerbar... can use some honey for sweetener if you need it but the powder is pretty sweet itself, so I don't think it will be needed, roll it into tsp. sized balls or roll out and cut into squares and refridgerate) maybe it will suck... maybe not... we'll see.
Protein: chicken, beef, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, whey powder, pb protein fudge.
Fruits: bananas, apples, berries (in smoothies).
Veggies: romaine, carrots, broccoli, cabbage (for lime cilantro coleslaw).
No more than 3 servings of WHOLE grains per day, small ammts of cheese and skim milk.
This is what I want to eat for the next four weeks... this is what I plan to eat for the next four weeks... this is what I will enjoy eating for the next four weeks.
This is me, creating success.
Everyone in the US should be required to take a basic anatomy and physiology course that focuses on body chemistry and the digestive and excratory systems. Cellular biology and chemistry is probably the most fascinating thing I have ever studied and the complex interactions of fluids, nutrients, hormones and systems in the body will blow your fucking mind if you've never looked closely at them before.
But what is more important is that I truly believe that EVERYONE (*and I do mean everyone) should know and understand completely exactly what happens when you put a foreign particle of non-food into their body.
I don't care if its some ingredient you can't pronounce on your bag of doritos or the caffeine in your diet soda... if you're going to put it in your body you should DAMNED WELL be aware of exactly what your body now must do to protect itself from the dammage that foreign substance wants to do to it. and what DOESN'T happen that should be happening because your body doesn't have time to do what it should because its so wrapped up in detoxifying itself constantly.
Because really... in food, you know... real food that comes from plants, and animals and trees... there are only a few things: macro nutrients (carbs/fats/proteins) and micronutrients (vitamins and minderals) and there is fiber and water and if its REAL LIVE FOOD (and I'm talking organically grown produce and meats/dairy), then that's just about it. Period. And our bodies know how to deal with those things... hell, they even know how to use most of them efficiently as fuel, building blocks and tools for repair.
Everything else... and I do mean EVERYTHING ELSE that we consume, or put in to our bodies somehow has to be processed by our bodies so that it is prevented from causing DAMMAGE and HARM to the delicate cellular chemistry that must be maintained for life to go on. That's right... just because they say its edible doesn't make it so. Food colorings and flavorings can be made from ANYTHING, including petrolium by-products... man-made chemicals and compounds never found in nature. Pesticides and Hormones and drugs in our food supply are TOXIC to our bodies... they are allowed to be there because we don't demand any different... we buy the crap they produce because we are too lazy to demand better.
And don't give me your craptastic whine fest of, "but its so easy to eat packaged foods, and they taste so good, and blah blah, blah, whine whine whine." because honestly I don't give a fuck and if you want to be a mindless consumer who sucks down every "diet" food when you could be eating REAL LIVE FOOD then you are as pathetic as the advertising agencies truly believe you to be and you are sucking up their pandering and prostheletizing like that nutrition free crap you keep bringing into your home.
Hey everyone! Guess what the new Weight Watchers Core plan is? Its an attempt to get people to EAT REAL FOOD... fruit, vegitables, lean meats and dairy, legumes, nuts... you know... food... rather than counting out how many chips-ahoy death disks they can fit into their points allotments for the day... so HOORAY WW... bout damned time you focused on food!
OH... and preservatives? All of those LOVELY chemicals used to keep your packaged and processed cheese-food fresh? Modern perservatives are toxic to the body... kids manifest ADD type symptoms when exposed to too much BHT and TBHQ... the shit is nasty! We used to use salt and sugar to preserve our food... now sugar and salt are the enemy and these new chemicals will save us from ourselves... and if there is a bigger load of crap out there in the "food-industry" I'd like to hear it because at least salt is a mineral and at least sugar comes from a plant... it is the mindless sheep that we allow ourselves to be that OVER-CONSUME these products in there most absolutely refined forms that are the problem... not the salt and sugar themselves. SUGAR IS NOT THE ENEMY!!!
Yes, purchasing and consuming real food takes thought, effort, time, planning... but that is only because we are out of the habit. We lament over how much healthier the whiney French are than us... well guess what sweetheart? The Frech shop for food every single day. That's right... they buy a days worth of real live food and eat it... and the next day they do the same damned thing.
So quit your fucking whining (or take it away from me) get off your ass and start looking at what is in the crap you call food... think pretty seriously about what your body has to do to detoxify itself because of all the crap you choose to put into it every single day and then just consider for a moment how much healthier you could be if you would just get off your ass and EAT REAL FOOD already. Don't even consider the weight-loss implications... just think about the bio-chemical reactions you could be preventing by not consuming the poisons and then go shopping.
ok... rant done.
EDITED TO ADD: If you have read any good nutrition and whole-foods lexicons I want to hear about them... so comment or email me with what you know... this doesn't have to be nutrition for an athlete, but good solid, how to buy and eat real foods type stuff is great... oh, and cookbooks too!!!
I give up.
I gave it my best shot, but I came to the conclusion this weekend, after MUCH soul searching and letting go of emotional baggage, that I am not, and have no desire to be a distance runner.
I'm done.
There, I've said it.
Wow... I feel a LOT better. Please don't take this to mean that I feel I haven't accomplished anything these last few months, because I have... I have run further than I ever imagined I could. And I will still run the half on the 31st, but until then, I am not doing any more long training runs. If I never (other than the race) run a distance greater than 10k ever again in my life, I'm OK with that. Running is an amazing wonderful thing, but right now, in my life and with my fitness goals, it just doesn't fit. It takes too much time to run 10 miles... it severely increases my appetite to the point that I've GAINED weight (and no, it is not muscle) and lost muscle... it hurts my knees and my hips and my feet when done for great distances and with relative frequency... and I'm just not having fun anymore.
So there you have it. Every other aspect of my fitness has suffered while I've been exclusively running and I am done. I don't like waking up dreading my daily workout... I want to anticipate it with baited-breath again. I want to pump my muscles up and "feel the burn" and not just burnt-out. This doesn't mean I will never run again. It just means no more distances of greater than an hour. I'd like to improve my 5k time... and possibly even my 10k time... a lot of that can be done with treadmill work and fartlek and such. It's the distance I'm letting go of, not the running itself.
Maybe my attitude will change in the spring. I don't know. What I do know is that I feel perfectly capable of running the half marathon at my current running fitness level, so I will run some shorter daily runs, not anything further than an hour until the race is here, and when it's done. I'm done. And in case you hadn't guessed... I did not run 12 this weekend. I did not run at all, in fact.
I'm also going back to the gym for some real lifting starting this week... I'll get to post sets and reps again (YIPPEE!!!) and I'm going to get back on the scale... (blech) because I need the slap in the face that I am certain it will be.
cheers!
Either I am the absolute WORST eggplant chef in the known universe or eggplant is just plain nasty.
I vote for nasty.
What a waste. 95% of it ended up in the sink because it was so slimy and gross and nasty. I tried grillin' it in the george foreman (nasty). I tried broiling it under the oven broiler (nasty). I even tried covering it with nummy tomato sauce (still effin nasty). No further eggplant experiments were necessary to conclude that I do not like eggplant... and thus will never ever ever attempt to cook it again.
YUK!
In other news the deck is STILL not done (work began last Monday) because the builders were trying to half-ass the stairs and mike put a stop to it, called out the manager and got them to agree to send out their "lead builder" today to fix the stairs and anything else we have a problem with. The other problem is that it rained last night so now the wood is wet and I can't stain/protect wet wood... so now I have to wait at least a couple of days for everything to dry out again or the stain won't penetrate properly. UGH!
I don't think I would EVER recommend this deck company to anyone, we regret going with them now... if they make things right I won't bad-mouth them completely... but right now I'm annoyed as hell.
SO much still to do before the family arrives and the newest twist in the plans is that the lake where the SWIM portion of the Triathlon takes place next weekend was CLOSED on Friday by the county health department because of a possible stomach-virus outbreak in 25 people that were at the lake last week. The thing is... there were like 3000 OTHER people at the lake who didn't get sick and all the ones who did were from ONE Summer camp program, who all rode on the same bus, ate together, etc... etc... etc... which makes ME think its probably a food poisoning issue and not the lake at all. Especially since the Health Dept. already said it didn't look like E-coli due to the progression of the illness. So at this point I don't even know if there will be a triathlon at all.
Maybe we'll just have a bar-be-que.
*sigh*
I've never really cooked with eggplant before.
But one came in my veggie-box this week and well, I figured I'd better do SOMTHING with it. So I'm purging it (ala Alton Brown) and then I'll rinse and pat it dry, brush with olive oil and grill it with some seasonings... after that, I have NO idea what I'll do with it (other than eat it).
Perhaps I'll put some sketti-sauce on it and some parm/motzarella and bake it up... hmmm...
In any case, I feel really excited because I've never cooked wtih eggplant before, and here I am... doing it.
:D
Oh... and I did a chin up at the playground with the boys this morning.
All the way up.
Just one, but it was real and I did it.
:D
I am gaining again.
The 8s don't fit anymore.
What the hell is wrong with me? I am the only one in control of what goes in my body and I'm pissing myself off with the choices I'm making these days... and it's not that I'm eating a lot of crap food... the VAST majority of the calories I consume come from pretty damned clean sources... its just that I'm eating SO FREAKIN MUCH... like I got a taste of the whole-wheat pasta, 4% ground beef and spaghetti sauce caserole (with a bit of motzarella on top) that I made for dinner (all in all a very healthy meal) and I just couldn't stop. I could have eaten 1 serving... a cup... or even 1.5 cups and been fine... but no... I had 3... and I could have shoveled more into my face too.
GOD DAMNIT! I am so fucking sick of this. I'm ready to go to a nutritionist and say, here... this is my goal (<20% body fat) tell me what the hell I'm supposed to eat every single day for the next 4 months... and I will do it. What EVER you say (except canned tuna because I simply can't stomach cat-food)...
Maybe Linn can help me.
FUCK this is frustrating, expect BAD things from the scale tomorrow... I do.
Grilled Turkey Bacon Tomato and Cheddar on whole wheat.
Curly Fries
Diet Coke
(insert grease induced coma here)
So I thought I liked this Champion Nutrition Pure Whey Powder just mixed with water... but I just mixed 2 scoops with skim milk and holy crapoly batman... this stuff is DECADENT!!!
Seriously... I may be the only person on earth who chooses a chocolate protein shake over a real ice-cream shake because I like how it tastes better... I'm weird I know, but try it... you'll see!
seriously.
I am ok with it.
Last night the CKD ended with a bang... there was no way to ignore the screaming of my body for carbohydrate replenishment. Perhaps it was the 5 mile run (that felt fabulous, and really made me appreciate my body again!) that did me in... I don't know. Whatever it was, tho, by 5 o'clock last night there was no denying the screaming of my body for carbs (not my brain mind you because I honestly didn't WANT to eat sugar or starchy carbs at all last night, I just wasn't craving them! It was my body all the way.) My muscles were knotting up and sore (and no ammount of water was helping) and my joints (especially my knees) were feeling stiff and achy and the rest of me felt woosy (low blood sugar) and dizzy (again) and just downright off.
So I made the conscious decision to listen to my body and stop the CKD right in its tracks and eat.
I didn't binge (thank god!)... I ate shredded wheat with skim milk and a drizzle of honey. I also ate a good healthy dinner and a couple of spoonfulls of low-fat chocolate sorbet. And within an hour of consuming the carbs my knotted muscles were un-knotting and my sore and aching knees were returning to their normal state of painlessness. (is that a word?) And perhaps most importantly the woosy off feeling was a thing of the past.
So that's it... it seems I have a mind/body that needs long runs and a body/mind that needs carbs to recover afterward. NO biggie... it was almost time to change things up again anyway. I will begin a pretty well regimented diet again on Monday and until then I will eat well and ballance my carbs/protein and keep the sugars low and the fats low and healthy as well.
I really don't see this as a failure (tho I somehow feel the need to explain why it isn't!) because I know if I had not done what my body asked last night I could have very easily pushed too hard today and injured myself. Injuries are the athletes worst enemy and I simply wasn't willing to risk it.
Oh... and in a completely different vein... the bikini bottoms I ordered arrived yesterday... and they're too big. Its a Victoria's Secret Medium for chrissake!!! How the HELL can it be too BIG??? So, I'll call and get a smaller size on the way today... one more delay in the bikini picture progress, but life WILL go on.
of my protein intake yesterday.
160g. That's pretty phenominal for not having used any protein supplements. I am not, however, proud of my water intake (under 100 oz). I am hoping to have time tonight to run to GNC to grab some more shakers so I can be better prepared for my 200g per day goal. I also need to pick up some chocolate protein powder. I mean... the vanilla is fine in smoothies (mmmfruit) which is how I'll be using it primarily over the next month cause I'll be eating fruit again (YAY!) but chocolate is my choice for mix-n-go shakes.
I am feeling a bit better today.
I kinda said, "fuck it" last night, and went to bed knowing that I wasn't going to get up and workout this morning... that I wanted to take advantage of the sun today and go for a long run (gonna go for the 5 mile course today) in the afternoon and just chill... I haven't run any good distance in a while and I'd forgotten how therapeutic a long run can be.
By therapeutic I mean this... when I run I get to really crawl inside my body and take stock of what its doing. I get to see how far my legs can carry me. I get to feel how my lungs normalize their breathing after a couple of minutes and how my heart adapts to the pace and beats with purpose but not panic. I pay attention to my ankles and knees to see how they're flexing and absorbing the impacts and by the time I'm comming up on the last half mile I really feel great... I feel that runners high, and I am excited again by what my body can do these days... I think I need that. I think that I've been missing that.
When I don't run I spend a lot of time focused on what my body looks like... when I run, I spend some time focused on what my body can do... it seems a more productive venture to run, and maybe it will help with all of the other mental crap I've got going on.
I sure hope so.
I have to take a moment here to mention how fabulous my husband is and has been from the start and thru my whole journey. He is my biggest supporter. He tells me (often) how fabulous I look. He cheers for me when I put on the next smaller size... he encourages me to get out and exercise if I'm feeling stressed and he checks with me nearly every week to find out what my eating plan is so that he doesn't inadvertantly tempt me with somthing that is not on my plan for the week... and if he slips up and offers somthing (a beer, or a treat or whatever) and I tell him its not on my plan, he quickly files the information away and doesn't let it happen again. He smacks my ass and tells me how firm it is... he squeeses me around my belly and notices the muscles under there. He rubs and massages my shoulders and tells me how strong they feel. He is fabulous and I love him to bits... the only possible thing that could be better would be if he would exercise with me... but I'm working on that angle... we'll see... maybe when he realizes I can do more pushups than he can he'll take the bait. :D
My goal this weekend is to eat NOTHING egg related that is not thoroughly disguised in some fluffy, floury, baked good of some sort.
Seriously... when I'm done with next week... I am going to go back to a REGULAR low-cal ballanced protein/carb diet for about a month and hopefully not eat eggs for that month either... again unless they're mixed thoroughly into somthing else... prefferably somthing baked!
Linn gave me some nutrition advice (after he noticed that I'm getting some nice definition in my hamstrings when doing hip-bridges on the bench on wednesday. He said that if I've got 6 weeks in me, to do the CKD for 6 weeks... but 4 is plenty for a rotating schedule and he'd never want me to go more than 6 weeks on a CKD for fear I'd start eating muscle for fuel. I could get really efficient at the fat/protein metabolism cycle which could be bad. In any case... his recommendation was 4-6 weeks on followed by at least 4 weeks of a normal fat-loss low cal diet with ballanced protein/carbs, and then another cycle if I felt I needed it. It makes sense to me, and while its really easy for me to eat low-carb during the week... it honestly does get boring. I miss fruit.
I miss fruit a lot.
I miss fruit even more because my organic produce box this week was delivered chock-full of apricots, peaches, apples, cantaloupe and bananas... guess what I'm gonna be eating this weekend??? Fruit Salad anyone?
In other news, hubby and I stayed up late last night and watched "The Last Samurai" which was a really fabulous movie and it was so nice to cuddle on the couch and get my back rubbed with a movie. We don't get nearly enough time together, so this was a real treat.
I'm also excited that my older son Valmont will be starting Taekwon DO next week... he is VERY excited about it and the Studio I found seems really great. I watched the class... met the master and his two assistants, and they really focus on the respect and discipline aspect of the art... which I was VERY focused on finding for Val... he's a wonderful kid... but respect and responsibility are wonderful things to instill in a child. One of the other great things is that all of the students have tasks they must complete at home and school thruout the week as they progress and these tasks reinforce the self-esteem, respect, honor and responsibility lessons of the art. HOORAY! Parenting help that I agree with!!!
So that's the news today... I'm kinda nervous for my "posing lesson" this afternoon... but I'll definitely post more when its over!
Things are going well on the CKD front. Leveled out around 28-30g of carbs yesterday with a whopping 94g of protein (that's sarcasm... I was WAY under on my protein intake for the day... I'm aiming for over 120g per day). The weekend bloat seems to be pretty much gone as I felt very "un-bloated" this morning and the scale reflected the water loss back at 148. I feel like I could do this for 8-12 weeks if I had to... but I really feel like the fat-burning is happening really effectively so hopefully I won't have to maintain it that long to get to my goal of sub 20% body fat... the thing is... once I get there... I just KNOW I'm going to want to go lower...
I mean... isn't that always how it is? Once you reach one goal you find or create another and keep moving forward... I mean... that's the right thing to do, isnt' it? Cause if it isn't... and you're eventually supposed to get to a "maintenance mode" where you're happy with your fitness level in all aspects and you can relax a little with the goal setting and stuff... then I'm doing this all wrong because I still don't have ANY idea how I want to look/feel/perform when I'm "maintaining" my fitness and weight rather than working to finally attain it... and I don't know how the hell I'd "maintain" anyway... what happens if I don't have goals anymore? I fall off the wagon, that's what happens... my ass finds itself permanently attached to the couch as it quickly expands to consume an entire cushion again... so this whole "maintenance" thing scares me. Just the thought of getting "there" and being "there" for any extended period of time freaks me right the fuck out.
And for some ungodly reason... the closer I get to "there" the harder it gets to make progress... so maybe... when progress finally completely stops... that's where maintenance begins... maybe? Hell I don't know, at this point I'm clueless... all I know is that the fitter and firmer I get, the more dilligent I have to be with the diet, and the harder I have to push in the gym to continue to see increasing results and that is annoying to say the least.
This is HARD... and it just keeps getting harder.
But today I feel good... and today I worked hard in the gym... and today I will stay true to my eating plan... and today I will drink my water... and today I will focus on today and not yesterday or tomorrow, and I will enjoy the results I've created thus far, and praise myself for the work I've done each day to get to where I am... and maybe tonight I'll think about tomorrow... if I feel like it.
:D