LexySmash

Night shift? O.H.N.

Yeah, my body doesn't like night shift.

In fact, its pretty pissed off at me. I am WAAAAAY behind in my readings (I have 100 pages to read for a test I have to take before midnight tonight and another 600 for the module that starts today) and I have clinical tonight, saturday night and sunday night. When I get home around 0745 each morning I am DEAD. Like nauseous, nearly falling asleep at the wheel on the drive home, DEAD.

AND right at shift change during my first shift on this rotation a patient that we'd been trying to keep comfortable all night died. Just up and died. Now, granted he was 87 had an ischemic bowel that he refused treatment for, and was VERY uncomfortable the whole night despite being pumped full of all the morphine and ativan we could give the poor guy... but the day nurse decided she was gonna stand him up to give him a suppository (tryin to save the freakin day or some shit) without TALKING to us about how his night had gone... and by the time they sat him back down, eyes were fixed and dilated, and he was gone.

If that stupid nurse hadn't stood him up we probably could have gotten ahold of his FAMILY before he died. But nope. I hope she feels like an asshole about that one for a while.

SO... two workouts today because I slept through yesterday... and this weekend I am going to start getting serious about the eating plan again. This stagnation has me frustrated and depressed and I'm just ready to re-apply myself fully so I can fit into my scrubs better and not be pounding the shit out of my knees and feet with these 35 extra pounds I'm carrying around when I run.

I'm looking at picking up a Zone book because I know its a good plan for fitness focused eating... and, as always, there will be food-accountability over at fit-day again.

For now I'd better get back to my text book... its not gonna read itself.

where am I again?

Oh yeah... Wisconsin. Right.

The theme of the last couple of weeks has been rain. Thunder, lightning and RAIN. Lots of it. Shit is flooding, lakes and rivers running over their banks. Lawns soaked and kids out of school... and thus, inside, and in my hair and on my nerves and I swear to God if one of them whines at me because its STILL RAINING one more time I just might have to smack 'em!!! (well... not really, but damn its tempting sometimes... that or to go find a really dirty sock to stuff in their mouths!).

I'm still in my 30 day crossfit challenge, we're in week 3 I believe... I missed yesterday's WOD, but I just finished making it up and I'll do today's later this evening. I'm making gains in strength and endurance but I'll be damned if the scale hasn't budged an inch. *sigh* I know that I can out-eat any work-out program, but damn... this is an INTENSE one, so I was hoping I'd get to take it easier on the diet. Guess not.

I start clinicals again next Tuesday. This rotation is geriatrics for me and I'm on the sub-acute unit of a local hospital. "Sub-acute" is just code for "rehab" which is where they send older folks after surgery when they need longer recovery than normal or who are "actively dieing" and are on comfort measures but don't want to be at home or in a hospice facility. Should be a relatively mellow rotation except for the fact that its a night-shift. Ugh. I can do days, I can do PMs (3-11pm) but nights is going to be a challenge for me physiologically. My body doesn't like night shift... it likes to sleep when its dark. That's probably one of the main reasons I ended up so depressed when I was living in Alaska... my body wanted to sleep all winter long, which isn't good for the social life of a teen-ager, if ya know what I mean. *sigh*

Kids are good... Older one is off to his dad's in OR for six weeks (yay!) younger one is driving me NUTS with no one to "play with!" I'm sending him off to a movie with Grandma tomorrow so I can take my Geriatrics final in peace and then its prep time for pediatrics. I have 121 days left until I graduate and I am nearly ready to start counting minutes and seconds. Being done still seems like a dream that is SO FAR OFF in the distance... but it IS coming and I just have to make it through 17.5 more weeks.

*sigh*

I lifted 1400 lbs yesterday.

I need better access to heavy lifting equipment though.

My shoulder press still sucks... I can get the 30# dbs up twice, but I go to the 35s and there's no way in hell.

I dead-lifted 105# 5 times and did back-squat wiht 70# 5 times. I could go heavier on both, but all I have is my adjustable DBS that max out at 52.5# each and there's no WAY I can heft that much up to my shoulders to squat. If I had a bar and some bumper plates... and rings... and a 16# padded medicine ball... and... and...

In other news I am done with my OB clinical rotation and I believe I did very well. My last day was BUSY with every bed on the unit full, moving delivered mom-babies to peds and I personally was in on 2 vaginal births and 2 c-sections (one planned for transverse lie and one for a surprise footling breech!). We also had a VERY precipitous labor with a mom coming up from the ER and barely making it to the bed before pushing out her 7lb baby girl.

I'm pretty proud that I was able to get an 18gauge IV into a fore-arm vein for the first c-section patient. She hated hand IVs, (which is all I've done so far) and forearm veins are just a little deeper, but I got it on the first try and she was very happy with me. (HOORAY!). IVs were the one thing I was just petrified of, but I'm gaining a lot of confidence as time goes on. I still need to gain the muscle memory to keep things in the right order... but once I've got that I think I'll be pretty good at them. The other IV I started that day also only took one poke, so overall it was a good day. 4 healthy babies, for 4 happy families.

And now I must go kill myself with todays cross-fit workout.

An update

So... I am more than half way through my BSN program now. I have 4 more clinical rotations. My next rotation in OB starts next week. I'll be on the busiest L&D floor in the area so I'm VERY excited about that, plus the nurse I'm with works day shift and that rocks so much butt I can't even explain it. School is still going well. I blew my 4.0 with an A/B in Legal and Ethical Issues in Nursing. I was PISSED at myself, but... it was my own fault for going on a vacation to Boston in the middle of the course and screwing up the paper I had to turn in for the class. Overall my GPA is still a 3.677 I believe, so I'm not going to sweat it.

I have to take my Mental Health Nursing final today between 3 and 7pm, I am NOT looking forward to it. I did well on the first exam, but the second was INSANE (poorly written questions with ambiguously right/wrong answers) and everyone did much worse on it. I need a solid A (to get an A in this program you need better than 93%) to pull an A in the class... but realistically I'm gunning for an A/B this time... we'll see.

I'm planning to spend the weekend reading up in my OB text book because I start on the floor bright and early Monday morning. I may think I know a lot about the physiology of labor and birth, but really... I know NOTHING about nursing care for a woman in labor. I'm a trained doula, but that doesn't mean I'd be able to pick up late-decels on the monitor... or what to do about it if I did.

I am THRILLED to be doing OB tho. The other option I could have been assigned is Mental Health for this clinical... Oh. Hell. No. I mean, I have learned a HELL of a lot about mental health issues and got some HUGE revelations about people I've known who are (or are not) diagnosed with things like bipolar, borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia... but I do not feel that I am in any way ready to deal with other people's mental issues when I still have my own to sort out... thankyouverymuch.

In other news, Nate turned 6 a couple weeks ago. We had a Star Wars themed party here at the house for a dozen of his friends (LITERALLY a DOZEN KINDERGARTENERS FOR 3 HOURS!!!). He had a blast and got TONS of presents so I think he considered it a success.

Val has been doing SO well in school and I don't know if I mentioned but he participated in wrestling for the first time this winter and he was REALLY good at it. Plus he loved it, so that's probably going to be a regular activity for him from here on out. He's got a good friend now who lives just down the street and they're inseparable, especially when they go to the YMCA on the weekends. He's getting so much more mature it blows my mind. He'll be 10 in July... yeowch!

As for fitness etc... I have decided that I don't need to think about my weight at this point... what matters is my fitness level and being able to endure 8-12 hour work-days on my feet as a nurse when I graduate. That's why I decided to start the cross-fit program... well... that and my little sister challenged me (hah!).

We'll see if I make it through today's workout without puking... I am not optimistic.

;)

My GOAL for the weekend!!!

Is to DO MY TAXES!!!

Yup, I do 'em... and yup, I itemize. In fact, we had enough medical expenses (blech!) and a low enough income that we might actually get a refund too! But its a lot of work... I have to create a spreadsheet with our deductions or I just can't keep everything straight... but once it's done its damned pretty, and all the documentation is in order so I don't fear an aud1t if ever there should be one. (Huzzah?)

In any case, that is my goal.

I am starting to feel like I need to start swimming again. I haven't replaced the suit I lost in the move, but I'm feeling like it's time. I miss how good and loose I always felt after swimming, and holy-god-damn did it do good things for my shoulders (YAY!)... so another goal for the weekend may be to get a new suit. Yeah... and shave the furry legs too. Sound good?

Hey Mojo! Congrats on Japan!!!

Good week.

Its been a good week... I don't know if I mentioned that I was tipped off to some awesome couch-to-5k pod-casts, but I was (on a knitter's blog no-less!) And while I'm only up to week 2 on the pod-casts (I wanted to see how the whole program went) the music is fantastic and the guy's voice is mellow and positive and he tells you right when to run and when to slow it back down to your brisk-walk. I whole-heartedly recommend them!!

School is also going well! I am finishing up Pathophysiology II today with the final and then Pharmacology II starts on Wednesday and goes for 2 weeks. Last class of February is Ethical and Legal Considerations in Nursing Practice, which sounds like a FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC class... and THEN we start Adult Health II clinicals. During the month of march I will be doing the Adult Health II theory course WHILE AT THE SAME TIME completing 156 hours of clinical. That's almost 30 hours per week of just clinical... PLUS book-work and on-line coursework... I know we've been at this for nearly 5 months and that we FINISH in October... so at 1/2 way through we should be figuring out how to manage 40 hours a week of course work... but now we're talking a total of more like 60-80 hours per week of school+clinical... YIKES!!

I guess I should enjoy the easy life while I can... eh?

I did it

I finished my first clinical rotation this week. By the end of the 5th day I was successfully caring for two post-surgical patients. I may have saved a patient who was recovering from an abdominal aortic aneurism repair... she had pain in her calf, and her foot was cool to the touch... we sent her for a stat CT scan... I didn't hear any of the results on it, but when I came back the next day she'd been transferred to the ICU.

I gave injections, watched/assisted in a chest tube removal, removed 3 foley catheters, attempted an IV start (failed, but oh well.) did some pretty extensive wound care, etc... it was a pretty intense rotation. I'm glad it's over, and I did well (clinical instructor gave me an A) but I'm already looking forward to the next rotation.

I've got one more free day before class starts again on Wednesday so I'm trying to get things done around the house and I may do some pre-reading tomorrow. It seems like October is going to be here in no time at all. When your life is measured by intense 2 week blocks of time, days and months seem to lose all meaning... *sigh*

Do me a favor... please?

My Adult Health Assessment skills exam is tomorrow morning.

Just send me some good luck vibes... its going to be a very, very, very difficult day.

Thanks.

Sunday Lab

It is 5:45 in the morning.

I just put a sour-cream streusel coffee cake into the oven.

At 8:00 my practical nursing life begins with our very first hands-on Lab day. Yes, school on Sunday... you didn't think they called it accelerated and only required school from Monday to Friday every week did ya? Oh good.

Following two full days (8am - 8pm) of lab I have my first clinical placement... I believe it is two days on the ambulatory surgical unit (out-patient surgery)... starting IVs, taking histories, vitals, etc... I'm a little nervous on the whole vein puncture thing... but its a skill I want to have and that I want to be VERY VERY good at. I know what its like to have a nurse who can't find a vein and it sucks... I don't ever want to be that nurse.

Many of my classmates come from all over the place. One is from Arizona and several are from MN and IL and other such states, and they all had to travel yesterday, most are staying in a hotel or the dorms on campus, neither of which provide the comforts of home and so... yes... I am making a coffee cake to bring for breakfast because that's just how I am, thank you very much.

I suppose I could have gotten up and gone for a run instead... hrmm... oh well, next time. ;)

Wish us all luck!!

Happy Anniversary to ME!!

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary and it was really mellow and great.

We spent the day together, just walking and shopping and then we went to see I Am Legend... uh... I knew NOTHING about the movie going in, so it freaked me right the fuck out and I had to leave the theater a couple of times. I am totally down with end of the world/apocalypse type movies... but when you throw monsters that used to be people into the mix I get FAR too convinced and I have nightmares for a week. I seriously couldn't get it all out of my head when I was trying to fall asleep last night either... made for some not exactly restful sleep.

Every year we buy a pair of wine glasses. The tradition started when one of the glasses we got at the Paris broke when we got home from our wedding. Now we buy a pair of glasses each year and if both of them make it thru the year we break one of them on our anniversary and get a new pair. This is the FIRST year that we've gotten to intentionally smash a glass... every year before this has seen the accidental demise of one of our anniversary glasses. It was deeply satisfying to wrap this years victim in paper, and stomp on it together. Our set this year are stem-less so I'm hoping they make it through.

Christmas was fantastic and I've run 3x/week for the last couple of weeks which is feeling really good. I'm trying VERY hard not to overwork my foot which is why I'm starting so slow... but at this point I'm gun-shy and I REALLY don't want another injury to slow me down.

Hope the holidays have been happy and healthy for all!

too much

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this site going forward.

I don't have much more to say on the fitness front. I've regained about 6 lbs since my last check and I am getting motivated to lose it and more again. But the point is that I just don't feel like I'm contributing much to the conversation anymore. That is obvious in the lack of posting... but its also in my lack of response to anyone else out there. I haven't read other weight-loss/fitness journals in months really... I check in on a few personal friends, but that's really it. And that makes all of this feel like a waste of space... like I said, I'm not sure, but I'll keep you all posted.

I got straight As again this term, now I just wait to see if I got into nursing school. I should know by mid-june.

Life has been a ball of stress and now that school is out I'm finding it to be much easier to focus on myself... I am back to having about 15-20 lbs of fat that I'd like to get rid of (not "weight" mind you... fat). And as is always the case, the last few lbs are the hardest to lose. Take care all!

the speed at which we live...

It blows my mind how quickly a week can get away from me... last week I got sick (again) and didn't work out until Thursday... I hardly ate either, and the emergenC I downed like it was going out of style had me feeling healthy again by Wednesday evening. I also finished my second week of spring term. When I'm in school the weeks seem condensed. I only have classes on M-W-F, but those three days are LONG (8a-4:30p, with 1 1hr break) and Tuesday and Thursday seem just long enough for me to catch my breath before diving in again.

Microbiology is my best class this term, I am absolutely FASCINATED by what we're learning about the microbial world.

Chemistry is a close second... the professor is awesome (such a contrast to last term) and the expectations are straight forward and I believe I'll do well.

Physiology is also a good class, my only complaints are that the Lab is more of a supplemental lecture than an actual "Lab" and that the professor is SO FREAKING SMART that she has a hard time simplifying the concepts and differentiating between the details we need to know, and those that we don't... because as she lectures EVERYTHING seems important.

I can't believe that we're mid-February of 2007 already... I keep lamenting the fact that I hardly remember 2006 at all... There are specific EVENTS I remember... but the year itself just went too fast.

I wish I knew how to slow down and experience each day more fully... instead of feeling like the hours have suddenly gotten away from me when I look at the clock every evening and its time to go to bed.

Input is welcome.

Weekend off...

I'm flying off to Connecticut tomorrow morning to spend the weekend with a friend I've known only online thus far. We'll be driving half way to Boston to meet up with another internet friend.

Meeting people that you've met online used to be a tabooed occurrence but just last month one young man from Eugene, Oregon spent his winter break (5 weeks) traveling from one coast of the US to the other and back using only the hospitality and generosity of people who volunteered to help him in an online forum. You can read all about it here: The Human Baton

More than 300 people drove, lodged and played tour guide in an effort to show that there are a LOT of people out there who are not the predators and pedophiles that the media loves to sensationalize.

Yes, those elements are still there, but there in EVERY facet of human society... what matters is that the rest of us are out here too.

So, with that said, I'll be staying with Linda and her husband, and meeting up with Ruth. I'm going on an adventure that was facilitated by the internet... maybe more of us should take chances like this.

I'm DONE!!!

Wow.

Today I completed my first term of college toward my BSN. I am done with my finals (as of 6:35pm) and I am excited that I may have done well enough to pull a 4.0 for the term... its out of my hands at this point, but I did my best.

I am officially OFF until the end of January! That's right, SIX WEEKS off!!! YAYAYAYA!!!

I guess I should try to find a jorb or somthing like that... ;)

I made it to 170 this week, and while hitting 160 in two weeks is INCREDIBLY unlikely, I do plan to work as hard as I can to get as close as I can by Jan 1.

But for now, my red-wine is callin... raise your glass with me, won't you?

Happy Holidays!!

heh...

I suppose I should have posted about the actual grade I got on the chemistry test that I thought I bombed...

it was an A.

Yeah, a little harsh on myself much? In any case... I still have the A in Chem and A/B in Anatomy that I am REALLY gunning to get up to an A with the final exam and lab practical final, and an A in nursing. So the 4.0 is not completely out of the question.

It blows my mind how many kids in my chem class are failing. I mean... you only have to get a 60% to get a C for crap's sake!!! Finals for Anatomy Lab, Chem and Anatomy Lecture are all on Thursday. Nursing Final is Wednesday. I have two lectures on Tuesday for material that WILL BE ON THE FINALS two days later... *sigh* Someone needs to teach UWOshkosh about "dead-week."

Next term's schedule is set tho (Microbiology, Physiology and Chemistry), and January comes with the opening of the application process for the October Cohort of the Accelerated BSN program... which means stress and forms and letters of recommendation galore!! It also means that the GPA I get next term won't factor into my admission into the program, which is kind of a relief... Hopefully the qualifying classes for the GPA calculation will keep me above a 3.5... I'm fairly confident that they will... I just need to go thru my transcript to make sure.

Ok... enough babbling from me, off to lift some heavy shit!

P.S. I'm re-opening commenting!

Life continues on...

So after that awesome result on the Anatomy test I bombed a Chemistry exam on Thursday... I'm really annoyed, but I won't see the official grade until next Tuesday at the earliest, so I'm trying not to worry about it too much... if I pull a C I'll be happy... truly. The problem was that I studied the wrong things and what I focused on was only 2 questions on the test. What I glossed over made up the bulk of the exam. *sigh*

My fitness and diet are back on track... I've been recording religiously on fit-day for the last week and it helps me to see exactly what I'm doing and to focus on getting my protein. If you look at those, don't place too much faith in the overall calorie count... I always assume that I get easily 100-200 calories in randomness thru the day.

Weigh in on Friday was 172.5 and I'm hoping to break out of the 170s finally by next Friday... I'm riding on the trainer as often as I can... lifting less than regularly, but I'm certain that once the term ends I'll be able to return to some semblance of normality with that as well.

Tomorrow, however, all bets are off. I will be at Lambeau for the Packers game (Third Row - 20 yeard line - Packers Side of the field) and there will be hot chocolate and brats consumed. Probably no beer tho, as its going to be TITS COLD!!! (Wind chill in the "high single digits to low teens.")

Making Christmas cookies with the boys is a challenge in and of itself. Hope everyone is well and happy!

School

Chemistry is a bit remedial... but still a lot to learn.

Anatomy is fascinating, the prof is very good lecturer, but he seems to think the class is (in general) kinda slow... gonna be a lot of memorization tho.

Human Growth and Development is interesting, but getting used to the on-line format is a different.

I'm a student... yay... ;) I mean, I think.

I am overwhelmed some days and completely confident others... I know that I'm providing a good example to the kids, doing my homework, etc... but man... I hate to see my family and home suffering for this.

Overall I think I'll do well this semester... my goal (of course) is all As, and keeping my excercise and diet on track as well... so far so good.

On Hold

The workout schedule is on hold this week as I determine how being a full-time student is going to affect my daily life.

So far the consensus is... I have time for nothing... ;)

Still eating like a champ tho... so I won't be doing myself any dammage this week... I'll be back as soon as I pull it together and hit the student gym. I'm excited to do a review of it.

Comments, Ugh...

Sorry about the comments being closed on the last few entries, I have MT set to do that by default. I keep forgetting to open them when I post, so I'll try to be more consistant doing that from now on.

Mojo - KICK BUTT!!! You'll be surprised how much difference upper body weight lifting will help... and you will have some muscle memory which will help you maintain good form. Light is where to start for sure!

I haven't posted my arm/shoulder workout yet because I haven't done it yet. I'm going to do my legs today and make-up arms/shoulders this weekend... its been a busy couple of days.

So much going on with school... signing up for an accelerated CNA program at the university (October is going to suck!)... meeting with the academic adviser for the Accelerated BSN program at the university. Getting the kids caught up on their shots, getting Val registered at school... Its not an excuse not to exercise, tho... and I am changing my mindset now to disallow for excuses like this.

I will meet my goal of 3x lifting every week in August. Failure is not an option.

My feet are suited to cycling.

Went to a well recommended podiatrist today to get some treatment for my incredibly painful feet... we talked about the right shoes for my foot geometry, about having high arches and the complications they cause when trying to find shoes. He prescribed a pretty strong anti-inflamatory (NSAID) called piroxicam and took casts of my feet for new orthotics as the old ones have broken down significantly... I didn't even ask how much its going to cost... *sigh*.

Then I mentioned running... that I haven't been able to do it, that I love it and want to get back to it...

and he said, "You have great feet for cycling."

Its not that I can't or shouldn't run... its just nearly impossible to find shoes that will properly support my arch so that the inflamation can heal and not recur... he asked that I not run *at all* while we're getting the inflamation under control... *sigh*.

Looks like I'll be getting a lot of time in the saddle for the next month or so... I'm trying not to be depressed by this, I can't change my arches... and I will be able to run again, eventually... and cycling is a lot of fun, and a good workout... hell, I've already got the feet for it! ;)

I wish he would have just given me the cortizone shot... but he didn't want to unless it was necessary.

I have good feet for cycling.

guess I'd better get my ass on my bike... I'll post my arm/shoulder workout a little later.

whoo boy...

So sorry for the long absence!! I am typing this entry from the office of my new home in Wisconsin... I'm sure you can understand the lack of updates during the last few weeks, its been quite busy. I'm still surrounded by boxes and things laying about. I still have a billion little loose ends to tie up. And I can't find my damned Garmin Forerunner ANYWHERE!!! ARGH!!!

The good news is that I've been putting on the shoes. In order to get back in the habit, I have resolved to get up every weekday morning for the next two weeks and put on the shoes. So far Monday and Tuesday were both successful. I'm not running for very long, or very far, but the shoes go on, and my butt goes out the door.

And its helping me in other ways too. I've dropped the 5lbs of vacation weight I put on during our road trip, and the salt-bloat from all of the rich food is subsiding. I am up early enough to have breakfast with my husband which is a VERY nice change for us... and I'm getting more accomplished before 10am than I did in a whole day back in Washington.

I think its going to take a few weeks for me to get used to living here, but so far its been a positive experience. The people I've met are very nice and very welcoming... Grandma and Grandpa have already proven their worth by taking the boys off our hands a couple of times, and the new house is really lovely and I'm enjoying filling it with my random crap.

One month progress pics will be taken the third week of July to compare with the ones I'm taking now. I have ones from a month ago as well (aproximately 3weeks post partum), but I'm mortified by them, and I may not post them... we shall see.

iPod revisited...

So... I know I asked for folks to click on my iPod link a while back... and a lot of kind folks signed up, and I super appreciate that, but if you don't actually complete an offer on the site... it doesn't count for anything.

I currently sit (after about a year) with 2 completed referrals (YAY!!!) and I need a total of 3 more to get the iPod for my sweetie... so I have an offer for ya:

Sign up, complete an offer, and as soon as your offer shows up as "completed" I will pay-pal you how ever much it cost you to complete the referral. Most are less than $10, so even at $30 its a great deal for an iPod (at least in my book).

Anyone wanna? If you do, email me so I know who you are if/when you sign up!

OK... other news... both babies are breech: PLEASE SEND HEAD-DOWN thoughts, vibes, spells, incantations, prayers, feelings, rituals, or anything else you can think of to these boys. The OB said at the last ultrasound that its unfortunate they're both boys... because men have no sense of direction, and they're not likely to ask either. If at least one of them were a girl, she'd most certainly get them going the right direction.

Have I mentioned that I TRULY love my OB? (Even as a die-hard midwife advocate!)

I'm alive, I swear

Mom's been here for a couple of weeks which has been AWESOME. She's helping finish all of the projects around the house that we never seem to find the time to do. She's takin care of me and the boys as well and I've got a freezer full of lasagne to prove it.

Twins are still kickin-it old skool inside the ol' ute. (damn I crack myself up sometimes). They seem to love 80s pop and strawberries which I take to be good signs over all. My health is good... weight just topped 215 (DAMN!!!), for a total gain of 45lbs and I'm stoked that I'm down to a month and a half(tops) of pregnancy left. If I don't go into labor by 38 weeks we're scheduling an induction for that week and honestly, I think I'll be ready.

Overall I'm still pretty comfortable. The burping and aspirating food in the middle of the night is a bit problematic (and FREAKY) and my low back is definitely sore and every now and then I get shooting pains in the groin area if I twist or stand up too quickly. Our next ultrasound is on the 29th and they'll estimate sizes again. Last time they were 3lbs each (we go a month between growth-scans) so I'm expecting a couple of 4lb babies at the next check.

I am big (huge even) you can check the gallery for the latest shots:

http://www.lexysmash.com/gallery/transfer2?page=8

I am 31w2d today, and expecting to hit 36 easily... 4w and 5 days till "full-term"

Any bets on how big I measure around the belly? I'm not tellin, but if you guess right I'll confirm!

;)

kicking back

having a relaxing day with Nate today. We went out for pancakes for breakfast, then over to the mall (pre-opening) to play at the indoor play-ground for a little bit. Picked up the requisite Seattle Sweatshirts to wear tomorrow... and yes I got them for the whole family (but NOT matching). Grabbed some groceries for lunch tomorrow (brats... just... well, just because darnit), and then came home and relaxed the rest of the day. We played cars, petted the cats (who are PISSED at me about the vaccinations yesterday) and I got a couple hour nap around 1pm while Nate hung out in his bed.

I'm getting a bit more used to being home from work... but I was supposed to get a call from the benefits people last week that I didn't get, so I'm a little concerned about that. I know there is a deadline for filling out the disability paperwork, so I'm hoping I hear somthing early next week. If I don't I'll be chasing people down because I can't live without my paycheck for very long.

Ok... that's not true... We'll be fine for a couple of months, but I really don't want to have to deal with that, so I guess I'm just motivated to be proactive.

The babies were SUPER active today... probably all the chocolate covered pretzels I ate. ;)

Ok... time to put the kid to bed!

I made it!!!

Today is my last day of work for the duration of this pregnancy. I have somthing akin to short-timers syndrome I think... I am SO unmotivated to get ANYTHING done.

I did, however, bring in Krispy Kremes for the department (because if I'm gonna be fat, so is everyone else, damnit!) :D and they seem to appreciate that. I have handed off almost everything that needed to be transitioned either to the new Project Manager, or to others in my department. I am TIRED, so I know its really a good time for me to be doing this.

so... being a stay at home mom is going to be a totally new thing for me for a while... Val is in school so he won't be there most of the day... and Nate has preschool 3 days a week... but what do I do when he's home? I haven't ever had to plan week-day activities with my kids! I am TOTALLY excited about it tho! Any suggestions or ideas are GREATLY appreciated.

Ok... better go check my email again!

24 WEEKS!!!

Well kiddies, we've made it to the very edge of viability for these little guys. Every week from here on out (and I'm determined that there will be at LEAST 12 more) increases the chance of healthy babies exponentially... as does the weight they will be gaining. For the next 4 weeks or so the average gain (per baby) is 1/4 lb. After 28 weeks it can go up to as much as 1/2 lb. per week per baby.

Watch Here for the amazing expanding abdomen!!!

I'm feeling good, sleeping and eating well. Walking as much as I can muster the energy for and resting when I can't. The kids are asking more questions about the belly and I am finding them to be VERY intelligent and understanding of what's going on. My older son said the babies in my belly are like his cousins, not his brother and I said that was a good way to look at it.

These are my last 3 days of work before I go on medical disability leave. I can make it... ;)

Last Week of Work

This is my last week of work for the remainder of the pregnancy. I am being put on disability and instructed to "take it easy" and relax and rest as much as possible.

I think I may take up my knitting again. ;)

But truthfully, I am actually glad for this. I mean... I haven't had a break from working since I graduated from OSU in 1996 and really even before that since I worked my way thru college and had jobs all thru highschool as well. So for the last 16-17 years I have been pretty much consistantly gainfully employed. Not that leaving the workforce temporarily doesn't scare the crap out of me, because it does. Things are gonna change here in the next 3-4 months... and I'm gonna change... I'm not terrified or anything, just a little nervous. Thank HEAVEN for short-term disability insurance.

I'm also kind of excited that I'm going to get a taste of being a stay at home mom for a while. I've never had the opportunity to do that in my kids lives. When Val was born I was a newlywed with a mortgage and we both had to work... when Nate was born Mike was laid off so I had to work... This will be the first time I get to interact with my kids before and after school since their first few months of infancy. I'm basking in the luxury of it all.

Things are constantly in flux at our house too... big changes in the works and I'm fighting the "fight or flight" instinct that tends to take hold in the face of big changes. Everything is good tho... I'm finally looking at getting to change career paths and the potential improvements in our financial situation are wonderful... so its all good.

I need to figure out how to face changes like this more... productively... ya know?

Ok, breakfast time.

Jeeze - look at the SLACKER!!!

Wow... I mean... wow. I certainly don't INTEND to go this long between posts, so once again, I apologize for my marked lack of post updates!

How are things going in this neck of the woods? Why its going very well, thank you!! I will be done working for the duration of the pregnancy starting next Friday, and everything on that front seems to be going very well. My blood pressure is holding steady at 118/58 and I've gained around 27-29 lbs so far (depending on the time of day). Babies are growing and kicking and getting hiccups which is just the coolest feeling in the world!! Doc is very happy with my progress and my gain. He thinks I'll go to 36+ weeks and have nice big babies to show for it.

On the fitness front - HA! What fitness front? Was I kidding myself? Or has it just been that weird of a pregnancy that I've just not been able to get into an exercise routine? The good thing is that I'm still walking. I walk everywhere... try to go every evening and walk at lunch too... but it is better than nothing and I do acknowlege that as much as possible.

I'm eating VERY well thanks to Pioneer Organics delivering produce every other week... and Trader Joes keeps me in healthy convenience foods.

Nuts are my friends these days... as are eggs and lamb-chops... man I can't get enough red-meat. I know this indicates that I'm probably anemic, but I'm always mildly anemic, so I'll probably have to add an iron supplement (Floradix is my favorite) here soon.

I'm ready for the rain to FREAKIN STOP already. Seriously... ENOUGH! Ok... I'm done.

Hope everyone is healthy and happy!

I know I've said it before...

but I do NOT recommend the viral GI bug diet to anyone. It sucks and is SO not worth the effort involved.

Yeah, that's how I've spent the last 3 days... in bed with fever, body aches (to the point that I couldn't sleep from the pain), chills, diareah (well that part I wasn't in bed for, thank God) and all over general malaise... the good thing was... I WASN'T Vomiting too! oh joy.

What is really good about the non-vomiting is that I was able to keep from getting overly dehydrated (went to the doc yesterday to make sure... can be bad for the chilluns ya know!) and I was doing fine, not spilling ketones in my urine and showing good hydration, so hooray for Gatorade.

This started Sunday with what felt (at the time) like a sinus pressure headache... I got in bed and it quickly progressed to the other symptoms. I took some tylenol that night to help myself sleep and keep the fever down... but unfortunately Monday was worse... and Tuesday worse still. Finally, today, I am starting to feel more or less human again. I didn't go back to work tho as I feel no pressing need to "push" myself in that manner.

In all I lost a total of 5.5 lbs of primarily fluid and intestinal contents... hopefully it will come back in the next few days as I am able to eat and eliminate more regularly.

It really sucks being sick... but being pregnant and sick... well that's just icing on the cake, really. ;)

2005

First - thank you Jim's Big Ego for THIS

Second - for me, 2005 really wasn't all that bad.

In January I got pregnant.
In Febuary I found out the baby died.
In March I miscarried.
In April I paddled with Zamboanga and I saw Muhammed Ali at a distance.
In May, with the help of my family, I landscaped my front and back yards and did a lot of hot-yoga.
In June I ran the Drop Top 10k (not a PR, but a good time at 1:10:37)
In July I rode my bike to work 2-3 times a week.
In August Laurie died and I got pregnant again.
In September I found out I'm carrying twins.
In October I applied for Midwifery/Nursing School.
In November I found out one of the babies has a congenital (potentially fatal) heart defect.
In December I got accepted to Nursing School.

There was good and bad and indifferent... there was a lot of blogging and a lot of time off. No major injuries or illnesses afflicted my household.

This month we paid off all of our remaining (non mortgage related) debt... (can you believe it?) It took 3 years, but it was SO worth it in the end. No credit card debt... no car loans (despite the new Mini Cooper S in Chili Red/black that we picked up on Thursday of last week with 12 whole miles on the odo)... no education loans, nothing. When we sell the house we will be truly financially independant, and that... my friends... may be one of my proudest accomplishments this year.

Now... how about my goals for this next year? I do have some of those as well:

Like Neca mentioned its all about S.M.A.R.T goals: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound.

Here are my 2006 S.M.A.R.T. goals:

1. By May 18th 2006, I will grow and give birth to two big strong babies regardless of external circumstances.
2. By June 30th I will quit or get myself laid off from my job... (can we all say "HOORAY!!!" for this one?)
3. By July 4th I will be back on a specific strength, cardio and nutrition plan with the goal of being back to running 10 miles by the end of 2006.
4. By August 1, 2006 I will be completely moved to Wisconsin.
5. By September 15, 2006 I will be enrolled in classes at the UW Oshkosh where I will be pursuing my BSN.
6. By December 31, 2006 I will be back under 160 lbs.

So there you have it. Questions, comments???

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

And I'd like to present... for your celebratory ammusement... my New Years Evening Snack:

Punkin Pie and a Pickle

I'm off to bed... sleep is a valuable asset in pregnancy... and with twins, more so than I ever knew previously!

Hugs, love, and best wishes to you and yours in the comming year, and many more to follow!

Back again...

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas Holiday and that those celebrating the Festival of Lights are enjoying their time with family. We had a REALLY mellow, nice Christmas. I baked home-made rolls (I love kneeding bread, its very therapeutic) and ham, greenbeans and salad... a rather healthy dinner if I do say so myself... I had Mart1nellis sparkling cider with the kids and made a full on caviar service for an appetizer for my hubby... he LOVED it (that was the bulk of his Christmas gift... he wanted food and food related gifts and while he was expecting Doritos... he should have known better!)

Our anniversary is tomorrow... I already gave him his gifts for that too... (he's a bit of a pocket-knife enthusiast, so I found him a couple of very unique/interesting knives) and he was thrilled.

Life in my little corner of the world is good. I am still gaining weight, the belly is growing and I'm becomming more aware every day of the beings within. They can push and kick pretty hard now, tho still not really detectable from the outside... except when one pushes out with a head or bum and you can feel the hard lump just under my skin.

I have updated belly pictures here... everything from week 10 on... I'm really developing a pregnant belly now, there is no mistaking it. We are 20 weeks today, and I've gained about 23lbs from the start of the pregnancy. I am pretty pleased with that as studies have shown that its important to gain weight EARLY with twin pregnancies to ensure good birthweights for the babies (even if they're early).

I am not walking every day, but 3+ times a week is average. I can't seem to motivate myself to continue lifting anything other than laundry, dishes and my own kids (heh... not even them anymore!)... so I know my muscle is diminishing *sigh*. I do walk 5-10 flights of stairs every day as I walk around the office tho, so that helps. Honestly tho... its not like I don't know how to get it back, hehehe... you're gonna see some intensity out of me post-pregnancy that you haven't seen since the early days of Lexysmash... prepare for it... ;)

As for the domain and blog and such moving, it looks like I will probably be able to stay put... I just need to get some revenue going for my host by pimping his server to other blog-owners who would be willing to pay a small fee for fairly unlimited services. Its a Linux based server tho, so if you only know winders, it won't be of much use to ya.

Ok... I'd better get some work done before they fire my ass.
hugs and kisses and here's some motivation for ya:

The most common new years resolution in the US is to "get in shape, eat right, and exercise" or some variation of that... and 90% of those who "resolve" in the new year, have stopped trying by March.

Don't give yourself a new years resolution... give yourself a new year goal... and then figure out what small changes you can make... one each month, or each week... to get you there by this time next year. Adapt, Improvise, Overcome!

*kisses*

Need new digs...

So my wonderful fabulous amazing (free) host is taking down his server... which means I need to find a new place for lexysmash and all of its related stuff (gallery, etc) to live.

I've been SPOILED by having a friend host my site and he's done anything I've asked and given me unlimited bandwidth and disk space which is just unheard of. And I totally don't blame him for it, I just need to find a new solution.

So... if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear about them!! I don't think I pull a lot of bandwidth each month, but I do have a LOT of pictures and such, plus 3 years of journal archives... so like I said, if you have any ideas for a new home for lexysmash... let me know!

Hoo Boy...

Ok... just gonna say it.

Its the holidays chickens (a favorite term of endearment to me). And I aint got time to compose lovely journal entries. So you will please forgive me as I disapear for the next couple of weeks into the joyous wonderment that is the holiday season.

I will bake, I will cook (even ham), I will decorate and entertain. I will shop (tho I'm mostly done now) and I WILL come up with another kick-ass anniversary present for my hubby, because despite it being 3 days after Christmas, our anniversary is more important to me than the big holiday and I want him to know HOW important it is, every single year.

Eat, drink, walk, play, take pictures, enjoy your family (if you can) and appreciate the days you have had on this earth and the days that are left to come.

Happy Holidays to all of my myriad friends!

Whoops... There went Weds and Thurs...

Sometimes a girl just can't win.

Wednesday's workout was great - light legs and 30+ minute walk at about 3.5mph, some incline, some flat line.

Thursday - docs appts. all morning left me drained, so I took a nap and then went for a short walk in the evening.

Today - didn't sleep well last night, thus forgot the gym-bag, so its another walkin' only day for me.

Weekend plans - ACK!!! Its like 9 days until Christmas... are you freakin' KIDDING ME??? ACK!!!

Feeling Groovy...

Saw a Nutritionist last week who specializes in pregnancy and diabetes care. She was a lot of fun to talk to and was quite impressed at my food-log. She praised my choice to eat only organic produce and meats/dairy when possible... and she got a kick out of my stories about my kids snacking habits (Yesterday Val wanted a Banana, and apple and grapes for his after school snack). She has asked me to add a Calcium/Magnesium supplement daily (which is really a good idea for any pregnany woman as it helps keep mineral salts ballanced and muscles relaxed) as well as a small iron supplement "just in case" with a vitamin C chaser for absorbtion... but I don't like the black-tar of doom that tends to create in my colon so I'm gonna stick with my prenatal, which has 28mg of iron anyway, for now.

I'm really enjoying late afternoon walks with the boys these days. Its been cold and dry the last few days and getting outside is invigorating... I know, intellectually, that I should be lifting more consistantly as well, but my fears over this pregnancy are puting a damper on my enthusiasm. Nutritionist reminded me that I can do upper body lifts while sitting in a chair, and she's right... I can and I should. My arms, neck, shoulders and upper back really could use the work... so I am determined to give it a go this week. Tonight is armchair-lifting experiment number one.

I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes! ;)

Today is the day!

Today is the ultrasound during which we could potentially learn the sexes of the babies!

Can you say "giddy with anticipation?"

I knew you could!

I have heard that males are more prevalent in IVF and also that females are more prevalent in IVF but I think what it works out to is that the odds don't really change:

25% of twins will be Boy/Boy
50% of twins will be Boy/Girl
25% of twins will be Girl/Girl.

Now the safe money is on Boy/Girl of course... and my intuition from the beginning has been that AT LEAST one of the babies is a girl... so unless you're betting against my intuition I'd go with Boy/Girl or Girl/Girl if I were you. (better payouts on girl/girl tho). If we get in there and I am COMPLETELY wrong... you will hear about it asap because the shocked shouting will be deafening!

SO! Wish us luck, and send "cooperative babies" vibes my way! I'll update as soon as I can!

Good to be Home

I'm glad to be home. Thanksgiving with the inlaws was good, tho exhausting. The boys traveled REALLY well which made me SO happy, but the trips were still long and arduous and I'm glad we don't do it more often. I insisted on brining the turkey for dinner, and everyone was impressed with the difference it made in the flavor and juicyness of the meat (yay!). Otherwise I kicked my feet up mostly and just ate, watched TV and kicked back with the hubby. We got out and had a lot of alone time together too which was really fabulous. I appreciate that time so much with our schedules being so completely screwed in the real world.

The pregnancy is still going well, the babies are growing and I am feeling flutters pretty consistantly now in the evenings. I'll be 16 weeks on Wednesday and as early as tomorrow we could find out the sexes. I'm still not being as active as I'd like... but every day is a new day, and there is no reason not to get my activity in today.

According to the scale this morning I am up 15lbs for the pregnancy... so I've officially caught up on weight gain. I think I need to pay more attention to what I'm eating so I'm doing a simple food log this week to see how its going.

Its gonna be a busy week - Christmas pix for the kids, two doc appts (tues/fri), financial adivsor appt (wed), gotta get the annual holiday cards/photos sent out by this weekend I think... is it January yet? Wish me luck!

Over the river and thru the woods...

to grandmother's house we go.

Wisconsin that is... dairy cows, packer fans... should be an interesting week.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday everyone!!!

dude... this pregnancy thing...

is teh biggity bomb.

I'm so old.

So I went for a fabulous 2.5 mile aerobic walk yesterday before lunch. It was a sunny, crisp, beautiful fall day and I just couldn't sit inside at my desk any longer. My HR was up for the entire walk and I felt fabulous. I'm gonna do it again today too!!! Aren't y'all proud of me? The weights have been lagging to the wayside, mostly due to lack of motivation, but the weight is piling on (as it is supposed to do with a twin pregnancy) and of course that makes me paranoid for my eventual fitness.

Not that it should, but it does... cause I'm a girl and I'm irrational like that. Irrationality is one of my strong points right now, actually... from there I spiral downward into moody, brooding, emotionally fragile and chaotic. I'm hoping the walking will help with the rest of that stuff too. ;)

We leave on Sunday morning for Wisconsin to visit the inlaws for the holidays. We'll be gone the whole week (YAY!) and somehow I'll have to figure out how to get my butt back to work when we return, but I'm certain a bill will come while we're gone that shocks me back into the reality that is earning a living. Ah well.

As for the parasites, they're doing well, the books say they're about 3 inches long crown to rump and each weighs around 1-2 ounces. The next four weeks should mark some incredible growth in them and in me, so we'll see. I am 14 weeks now... in 6 weeks I'll be half way done! CRAZY!!! And in two weeks we'll get to try to find out the genders. My money is on one of each (cause I'd be right about 50% of the time) but I'm definitely convinced that there is at least one girl, so if its two boys I'll be shocked!

Hope all are well and happy!

Massage...

I truly truly believe that massage is one of the most beneficial health-maintenance therapies readily available today. Other than proper diet and exercise, massage is probably my favorite recommendation to friends trying to get healthy and fit. Massage by a well educated and licensed MT can release tension, relieve muscle and joint soreness, gently move your body into better alignment, move fluid and toxins from interstitial spaces (between the cells) in your tissues and back into the blood stream where it can be processed and eliminated by the kidneys and liver.

Plus it feels fantastic.

Sometimes I save my lunch money (tho less so now cause MAN am I hungry all the friggin time these days) for a week and get a massage on Friday. It starts the weekend off right and REALLY helps me let go of the prior weeks stress.

When I had migraines thru college one of the only things that seemed to really help keep them at bay was regular massage (stress is a nasty thing, my friends). I couldn't afford it often, but there were a few students in the area who would let me be a practice dummy for them every now and then.

I still wish I could justify massage more often... and I probably will later on in this pregnancy... but for now, I take it where I can get it, and tell everyone I know to do the same!

Its been a GOOD week, other than the yeast infection that cropped up due to the antibiotics last week... but I had expected it, so I didn't suffer long. Eating is fun, water is on track for the week and energy is slowly ramping back up to more normal levels...

must be nearing the second trimester eh?

Ok... I'm gonna beg...

This is shameless begging... so feel free to skip.

I've had a very small link to an iPod Referral site on my left column for a while now... and while a LOT of folks have "signed up" only one has completed an offer (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!).

Here's the thing... I have an iPod Mini and I love it... but my husband keeps stealing it and its making me insane. I love him dearly and I'd love to get him his own iPod, but as is so common in this country these days the spare cash just isn't there, (we're sellin my car... so yeah... there's that) and we agreed to spend what we have on the kid's Christmas...

SO... if you haven't done one of these things before... and you don't mind signing up... I'd really appreciate any sign ups y'all are willing to give me so I can get my sweetie an iPod for Christmas.

I love y'all, and I hate to do stuff like this, but damnit if he isn't just the best husband I've got... ;) and I know he'd be just stoked.

Ok... enough of that!

Fitness update - I get to exercise again today as there has been no further bleeding for a week so I am STOKED to get my workout on this afternoon!

Hang tight everyone... this fitness girl WILL have a fit pregnancy... its inevitable!!!

Pictures!!!

My Ninja and my Batman are HERE.

The rest of my weekend was very productive if uneventful. No further blood after Saturday, cleaned out about half of my clothes and sent them off to Good Will... made a cake, watched football, ate good food... it was a good weekend. I even got to go maternity clothes shopping with one of the babies parents and a friend AND they rented a dopler so we can listen to heart-tones when ever we want.

This Saturday my house will fill with people who are somehow involved with surrogate parenting. There will be infertile couples who are hoping to start their families with the help of a surrogate... there will be surrogate moms who have helped families and those still waiting to find the right people to help. Its blown my mind the sheer number of people who have had infertility issues so severe that their options for creating families have been narrowed to surrogacy or adoption and sometimes even adoption is removed due to age or other issues.

I'm excited to meet all of these people and to see how their lives have been impacted by their family building choices.

Howdy Folks...

Life is chugging away over here. Workouts are on hold (again) due to a small bleed that happened yesterday. Ultrasound revealed two happy babies and a small "sub-chorionic hemorage" behind the placenta of Twin A. Its pretty common I guess, and the Dr. said that based on its size its not somthing to worry about, but to take it easy for a week. So that's what I'm doing.

I've gained 3 more lbs for a grand total of 6.5 for the pregnancy. We're 12w 2d today, and I'm feeling really good - FINALLY!!!

Kids had a FUN Haloween and I'll get some pictures up soon I promise... they went trick-or-treating TWICE (not to the same houses) and got way too much candy... so tonight I'm letting them have a candy-fest (eat as much as they like) and after that the rest goes away (ie... Daddy's takin it to work for his co-workers to eat). I'm not anti-candy... but I think they just got WAY more than necessary this year and I'm happy to have it disapear so I don't end up eating a bunch of it too.

Hope everyone is having a GOOD solid start to their holidays. Its so fun to be in weight-gain mode rather than weight-loss mode for the holidays I can't even tell you. Honestly, I almost feel guilty, but I know the kiddos need the expansion and I think I've mentioned before that I'm actually really excited about getting to do a post-pregnancy transformation again, so I'm really enjoying being active and yet eating to gain... its a dichotomy I've not encountered before, and its really kinda fun!

Monday Again

HOORAY FOR THE END OF THE SINUS INFECTION!!!

Last week was pretty miserable on the health front. A cold turned into a sinus infection that got so bad I felt like my teeth were going to fall out of my jaw from the pain and pressure. Zithromax was prescribed, and unfortunately that caused the requisite intestinal upset... but with a couple of days of probiotics on board I'm feeling MUCH MUCH better.

So good, in fact, that I actually WOKE UP with my alarm this morning (insane, I know). So hopping back on the exercise train this week with a 3 day schedule - tues, wed, fri. Thursday is a big day with another ultrasound of the bebes and my first admissions interview at Birthingway College of Midwifery.

I still need to find SOMTHING to wear.

;)

Belly Pic

Ok... I will admit that this makes it look like I don't have much of a belly, but its THERE!!! I swear by the fact that none of my size 12s will button anymore!!!

There you have it - 10weeks and 6days pregnant with twins... lets just watch it grow!

more noticeable by the day

it is becomming fairly obvious that I am pregnant... that or I'm just gaining a LOT of weight in my belly. My lower belly is hard and firm and there is definitely some flab developing above the uterus and on the sides (joy...). I spent Friday/Saturday and most of Sunday on the couch because of this damned head-cold. I was WASTED tired, my whole body ached, and my widdle nose is still red and raw even tho my hubby bought me two jumbo boxes of puffs pluss with lotion... which are my favorite tissues of all time, bar none. Massive ammounts of OJ were consumed but food was sketchy. I have very little appetite when I'm sick so I just tried to snack all day long.

According to all of the Twin Pregnancy books I've been reading I am supposed to be getting upwards of 3000 calories per day. Have I mentioned this already? Have I also mentioned how HARD it is to eat 3000 calories of nutritious whole-food per day... especially when your stomach is used to accomodating 1800 or so MAX? What is really cool is that this is such an amazing learning opportunity for me. I am getting to do research on a new topic and I'm loving it.

Exercise is light but going well. I only went in twice last week, but I'm confident I'll make it to 3 this week... and after a few weeks at 3 I'll bump it up to 4 which is probably where I'll stay for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I am healthy, I am happy... how about you??

exercise is good...

just the little bit of exercise I've gotten in this week has really been helping my energy levels... it is not a myth that exercise improves your energy... I'm walking talking living breathing proof!

Three weeks till our next peek at the little ones. I am not used to getting so many ultrasounds and in fact with my youngest son we had none. I'm trying to enjoy all of the extra attention this is bringing me... but honestly there are some bits I would be happy to do without.

I KNOW people are going to touch me... without my permission... and that bugs the CRAP out of me... since WHEN did women become public property when ever they have a protruding belly? (mine isn't protruding too far yet... but it will, oh yes it will). I know people are going to comment on how big I am at any given time and aren't I ready to pop yet, and all of that stuff, and since WHEN is it ok to tell a woman how BIG she is? Even if she's pregnant??? As IF!!!

Ok... I know its a little early to be ranting about this stuff, but today I hit 10 weeks and the embryos graduated to fetus status and I'm seriously just about to bust out the maternity clothing because there is NOTHING in my closet that will fit around my waist anymore and I'm already anticipating I suppose. I should knock it off and just revel in the fact that I have the vast privelage of nurturing two new human beings into existance over the next few months.

Yes... that is what I'll do.

Forget the hormone riddled ranting above. I am a good and happy person... really I am!

;)

PROMISE!!

whoah...

monday already??? and its been a WEEK since I posted??? What the heck?

Ok... life right now consists of eating, sleeping and working... today I will do my first "workout" in about 8 weeks. The speed at which a body deconditions is astounding and suckey. Its so much harder to start slow when you know where you were... when you know what shape you SHOULD be in.

The doc gave me licesnse to exercise moderately until my body tells me to stop. He doesn't want me running, jumping on any trampolines or playing competative/contact sports.

So the plan this week is 3 days... light full body weights and 10-20 minutes on the TM or eliptical depending on how my heartrate holds up. Shouldn't be too tough, I suppose.

I am supposed to try to gain 5lbs by my next appointment on November 3rd, and I am trying to eat more... but I don't want to eat a bunch of crap that is void of nutrition either... so I'm eating more frequently, and adding protein anywhere I can. Eating for three is a very difficult venture. Luckily the nausea seems to have gone for good and I am only having to deal with food aversions at this point. Time for my mid-morning cereal and protein shake!

I keep apologizing...

for not writing more... and the truth is that I WANT to post more, I really do. I have all these things going thru my head (not to mention my body) and I'm reading more and more about twin pregnancies and I'm finally seeing the perinatologist for the first time this week so I can get some guidance on how much I should be exercising, but the truth of the matter is... I am beat. exhausted. the fatigue is monumental.

I knew that I would be tired going into this pregnancy... I had no doubt that I would be tired... but this is beyond anything I have ever experienced and THEN I read a book that tells me I should be getting 2 30 minute naps each day and I have to stop and thing... when the HELL am I supposed to work 2 30 minute naps into each day??? Insanity I tells ya!

So I walk during lunch at work (don't worry... I'm still eating... pretty much constantly in order to keep the queasyness at bay), and that's about it. Getting up early to exercise? HA! Evening workouts? No freakin way, my friends. I have gained 4lbs since the beginning of this adventure, and according to all of the literature I'm already 5lbs behind (don't worry, I'm CERTAIN I'll catch up). But what I am enjoying is just the fact of all of this.

I am pregnant again when I thought I would never get to experience pregnancy and birth again. I am getting the very unique pleasure of carrying a multiple pregnancy and that's not somthing I would ever have gotten the experience of under "normal" circumstances... AND... overall, it really isn't that bad. Fatigue, yes... nausea... some... but seriously kids... This is pretty freakin cool.

In less than 10 days all of the major development of the babies will be completed even tho they're less than an inch long... and from that point forward it will be growth and maturing the structures that are already there.

Its insane, and its wonderful, and I am loving it (even the crappy parts!)

Good Eating Habits Start Early

I think that it's important for me to instill good eating habits in my kids at an early age. I'm lucky in that my kids will pick string cheese and an apple over goldfish crackers for a snack... they will eat green stuff without threat of punishment (and often ASK for salad with dinner) and they think white-bread is weird!

I also know, tho, that some of their eating habits are not just luck... some of their eating habits are due to our families efforts to make good food fun... for example:

Nate's Snack Today!

Cut up fruit... put it on a stick... INSTANT ENTERTAINMENT... and he ate the whole thing too!!! There's grapes, apple, pear, and pineapple on that skewer. My husband helped him create his masterpiece and sent me the picture this morning. He paired that with some cheese and talk about healthy!!! :)

I remember one of my favorite things to eat was the "Saturday" they'd talk about during Saturday Morning Cartoons... it was a little cartoon bit like the "don't drown your food" and "call me yuck-mouth" ones... A saturday was a ring of pineapple, with a half a banana sticking out of it, cottage cheese or yogurt around the base and a grape on top.

My sisters and I would gobble those things UP! I think that is probably what started my healthy appreciation of all things cottage cheese! ;)

I'm glad I can make healthy food fun for my kids... we do have treats and junk around the house, but its so gratifying to see them choosing the healthier options on their own... feels like a job well done.

interferance

Uhmm... so no exercise has happened this week. It seems there are some aspects of a twin pregnancy that I was not prepared to deal with. These include body-numbing fatigue and overwhelming nausea.

Now, granted I did remember the fatigue of my singleton pregnancies and I knew it would be tough to deal with again, but I SO was not prepared for this... in the last week I have gone to sleeping the sleep of the dead for 10-11 hours every night and STILL feeling like I need a 2-3 hour nap every afternoon.

But the nausea... the nausea is a new one on me. Walking around in a constant state of fugue... wondering if I will be able to swallow the next thing I try to eat, or if some random smell will put me over the edge and make the spewage come forth from within.

I thought I could tough it out.

I was

so

very

wrong.

I called the doctor today... I hate resorting to pharms when there are other beings to consider... but I can't eat... and I'm losing weight... and they need nutrients... so zofran it is. Hopefully I'll be feeling a bit more normal soon.

Two

Two sacks.

Two babies.

Two heartbeats.

I guess it makes sense that I've been exhausted and hungry all the time.

;)

man!

I am getting REALLY bad about followup on this thing, aren't I?

Sorry about that, folks... I will try to be more present over the next few months. I think I got overwhelmed (ya think?) with school starting, baby/ies news, suddenly needing a new doctor (I so shoulda planned that one better), putting Nate in pre-school for the first time (he LOVES it), etc. and everything just fell to the wayside.

I promised y'all a PREGNANCY FITNESS PLAN, and here you have it:

I will not be changing my nutrition guidelines much, mostly because I already eat very well, and continuing that trend in pregnancy is really the best idea overall. I will, however, be allowing myself a few more treats here and there if I REALLY want 'em, and will be focusing on protein intake of 100g/day MINIMUM... if it turns out to be twins, that will jump up to closer to 125g/day MINIMUM. The emphasis on minimum is because protein is the absolute most valuable nutrient necessary during the building of a baby... check out this website if you have questions, or want more details: The Brewer Diet for Pregnancy

As for exercise:

I will not run much. Now I didn't say at all... because I reserve the right to jog as I see fit... but I know my knees, and I know that when I am pregnant they get loose, and the last thing I need is a knee injury... so for cardio I will be "race-walking" on the streets and Treadmill(as the rains set in) and using the Precor Cross-Trainer. My weight lifting will continue as is, using relatively low weights and relatively high reps to continue to build the "marathon" stamina I will need for labor and birth.

Details are Thusly:

Sunday - Arms/Shoulders (possible walk)
Monday - Rest (cause I'm not fooling ANYONE here)
Tuesday - Legs and Precor
Wednesday - Long Cardio (walking or precor)
Thursday - Chest/Back (precor)
Friday - Rest (again, gonna need it)
Saturday - walk or bike with the kids

As my workouts progress (and I have the inevitable weight gain) I will post updates... and I may even take... the requisite belly pictures!!! (didn't promise to post 'em tho!)

This is an exciting time for me, and I hope that if you have questions or are curious at all, you will feel free to ask me ANYTHING!!! I'll do my best to respond in a timely manner!

;)

Its time once again to share the love

Necca is done with the book I sent to her a couple of months ago and is ready to pass it on to the next reader who is willing to do the same (ie. read it and then pass it on to another reader). Go drop her an email if you want the book: "Passing for Thin" by Francis Kuffel. It is a wonderful book and is definitely worth the read, but please only email her if you are willing to continue the forward path of the book.

Kisses!!!

I'm learning what I can and can't do...

I realized after purchasing my "Crying Tiger Beef" for lunch that my body has decided that beef is the devil and that I am not allowed to swallow it despite having chewed it and enjoyed the flavor. Luckily I discovered that if I added some rice to the bite the beef would go down.

Welcome food-aversions! So glad you could stop by. I have already had what I would call "cravings" with this pregnancy... Last Tuesday I wanted Indian food (Lamb Saag and Chicken Vindaloo) so badly that I couldn't stop thinking about it until the next evening when I went out for Indian and had exactly that for dinner (it was devine!).

Its not surprising that I will have some food aversions. Beef did it to me with both of my own pregnancies, so I expect this one to be no different. The only problem will come if I get turned off of all meat. I need protein. In fact (aside from folic acid) the most important nutrient in a pregnant woman's diet is protein. Protein is ncessary for the synthesis of every tissue in the babies body, and since it isn't chewin' on it's own steak, it's up to the mom's blood-stream to provide adequate protein during the pregnancy.

Protein is also necessary to support the function of the liver and kidneys as they work ever harder to eliminate not only her but also her babies waste products. Luckily I still have cottage-cheese, chicken and fish to fall back on... YUM!!!

Excercise is going moderately well. Did some non-specific cardio on Saturday and then the Race for the Cure on Sunday, which I participated in for the 6th year in a row... I'm pretty proud of that. It was a record turn out of over 45 Thousand runners and walkers. When we finished the walk (we were near the start) there were still people waiting to cross the start-line.

No morning sickness or anything of that nature... just the continuing fatigue... 1 week till ultrasound!!!

fatigue

So the fatigue of early pregnancy has kicked in. All I want to do is NAP! I've gotten two solid workouts in this week (shoulders and legs) and I'll be walking the race for the cure tomorrow, so its not a total loss... it just seems so much easier to fall onto the couch in the afternoon and hit the snooze button in the morning than it ever was before.

Must find my rhythm... must find my routine... losing focus now would be a very bad thing.

Life is going well other than the fatigue. I just finished a kick-off and requirements discovery meeting for a $3.5million project at work. Its a pretty big deal and I'm the sole project manager so I need to kick it's ass.

The meeting (all week long) was successful tho, so I have confidence and high hopes.

weight is steady in the 169 range... wonder how much I'll gain in the next 8-9 months... especially if its twins. ;)

shoulder day.

So... one of the things I've found weight lifting to be good for is working out negative energy and feelings... to that end I distroyed my shoulders this morning.

I was 4 shades of pissed last night and when I got up I knew little Miss Debbie just wasn't gonna cut it... so out came the 8lb dbs and I went to work.

Standing presses till I couldn't (that's called failure friends... and it BURNS)
Lateral raises till I couldn't (ditto)
Front raises till I couldn't
Bent-over rear-raises (think a fly - but opposite) till I couldn't.

It worked out a lot of negative energy... but man am I going to regret it tomorrow... maybe I'll be in a better mood for legs.

;)

So an update!

I can exercise again (YAY) and my weight has been holding steady thru this cycle, so I guess I should update.

Yes, indeedie, the rabbit has died; I'm up the duff... but just a quick reminder: my oven + someone elses bun(s). IVF is a challenging thing to go thru. I can not IMAGINE doing it over and over and over only to be faced with repeated failures.

I am lucky - the parents of this baby (or these babies) are lucky. It worked this time and I am right well and fully pregnant.

Welcome to a change of fitness focus!!

I could potentially be eating and exercising for up to 2 extra creatures at this point. I have done extensive resarch into pregnancy fitness and have concluded (with the advice of my physician team) that I should stick with what is working for me now (minus birkam) and adjust as my girth and ballance dictate.

One nice thing about being relatively fit before you get pregnant is the fact that you will most likely have less problem remaining fit as the pregnancy progresses. You're already in good eating habits, you're already moving... just keep it up.

I'll keep ya posted as things progress, but for now... I'm gonna go for a bike ride!

its everywhere.

Like Renee, I wasn't going to write about this... but driving into work this morning I heard the commentary of a man who got his family out of NO before the storm hit... his parents wouldn't leave... and the only negative thing he said was that if he could go back right now he'd hurt the looters and hurt them bad, and all I could think was... what if those are your parents? What if they're desperate for food and water and have no choice? I mean... I know that there is a lot of completely fucked up looting of shit that no one really needs for survival and that pisses me right the fuck off.

But come on... there are people down there who haven't had fresh water in DAYS! Food? Don't think so.

So yeah... hurt the selfish assholes who beat up the ambulance crew and looted the god-damned ambulance. hurt the morons who think that big screen TV is going to do them any good without POWER... hurt the complete fuck-wads SHOOTING AT THE EVACUATION HELECOPTERS!!! But don't just arbitrarily say "hurt the looters." because fuck... I'm not there... you're not there... the money I donate is probably fattening the paycheck of some "charitable organization's" CEO's sallary more than it's actually helping the people down there who are completely helpless.

But it's all I've got.

THIS is what our National Guard was built for. THIS is what they are trained to do... not fight a war halfway around the world... they're here to GUARD OUR NATION and it's people. I could stand here in righteous indignation about the fact that bushy siphoned money from fortifying the levees in NO to pay for his war. I could bitch about the lack of domestic troop support because we're spread all over the world policing every-body else... but the truth of the matter is that won't save a single person trapped in their attic or on their roof as the water rises and the heat-index climbs.

Yeah... be pissed. I am pissed. But also be real... do what you can, because this is our Tsunami.

Baby's back

My son is back from Alaska and he seems older than when I let him get on that plane 2 weeks ago... mom says he ate like a horse... that he was in constant "feed me" mode. He caught a 14lb Salmon or three... and learned to fillet, cure, smoke and can 'em and brought home a case of canned smoked salmon. Gotta love the kid. He's growing up so fast.

School starts in a little over a week. Cultivating a child is so much harder than a garden... with a garden you can start over each year... if you made mistakes you can till the soil and correct them with compost and minerals... tho, if you listen to ol' T0mmy Cru1se all a kid with ADHD needs is vitamins... idiot.

So this weekend is "back to school" shopping. Clothes, supplies, lunch goodies... *sigh* I hope I'm doing all of this right... this mom stuff, tho I suppose my self doubt is fairly normal. I just hope he grows into a strong, confident, kind and caring man.

I'll do my best.

Gardening

I am, for the first time in many years, eating food I have grown myself. I have tomatos and pole-beans so far... I will have carrots, leeks and celery later on. But right now I am scarfing down a big bowl of greenbeans that I grew myself, picked this afternoon and immediately cooked. (cut into 2" pieces, steam for 5-6 minutes, sautee some sesamie seeds in olive oil till golden, add the beans, toss with salt and pepper, serve)

I am feeling very proud.

I have loved growing vegitables since I was a child. My grandmother always had a big veggie garden and she was fabulous about jarring things up for the winter. We always had beans, pears, peaches, bing cherries (my favorites), corn, pearl onions, tomatos, applesauce, jams, preserves and many other delicacies that we'd only get at Grandma's house. One of my jobs was to catch garter snakes to relase into her veggie garden to eat the mice that would try to feast on our veggies... I loved my job, hunting along the edges of the barn for snakes sunning themselves on the piles of scrap wood laying there... and I coveted my grandma's garden.

I wanted to grow corn taller than I was... and pull carrots out of the earth, brush them off on my pants, and eat them right there. Everything in Grandma's garden was organic... half burried bottles of beer served as slug and snail traps... snakes took care of the rodents, and she'd take me out to help her pick caterpillars in the mornings and evenings.

And everything tasted so very very good.

I finally have a garden of my own... I had small ones as a child, growing sweet-peas and carrots in the long Alaska summer daylight hours... and I had a garden that was mostly my boyfriend's when I was living with him the last year of college... but now, I have my own.

Its small by most standards, but the soil is good, and ammended with compost, and its flourishing... and I love it. I tend it about every other evening (its automatically watered with our sprinkler system), pulling little weeds, checking for ripe produce to pick... cultivating the soil to bring in more oxygen. I am proud of my garden, but most of all... I am sustained by my garden.

I know, thru inherited knowledge from my grandmother, and my mother, how to tend a garden. One of my earliest memories consists of me sitting in our families first home in Seattle digging in the black dirt of my own mothers garden beds... I don't think I could walk yet. I see the garden, and my mother bent over another bed digging, and my older sister in the yard behind playing. It's just a moment in time, but it is perfectly clear, and its in the garden. I may not know the specific PH a plant likes, or when precisely to plant it in my climate... but I know that veggies like GOOD SOIL, and I do my best to keep them happy.

I love my garden... I love everything it does for me... I am proud that I can feed my family good food that I grew with my own hands... from my own land.

I'd recommend it to anyone.

Now... I've got about 10lbs of tomatos... any one want some???

Don't Worry, Olivia is Safe!!

Well now that I've shared my surprise with you I'll give everyone a little background. Before the 2001 Audi TT Turbo (which you see pictured below), our family vehicles consisted of Olivia our Mini Cooper S, a Toyota Tundra V-8 gas-hog who never really earned a name, a 2001 Aprilia Mille motorcycle and a 2002 Aprilia R50 Scooter.

Olivia is still safe and sound in the garage.

We have been talking about getting rid of the truck for a while and getting a fun convertable of some sort to enjoy. The Audi TT has been my favorite 2-seat convertable since it first came out. I've mentioned them as an option several times but after discussing it we agreed that a 2 seater probably wasn't the most practical solution with 2 kids.

So we moved on to look at other things... 1998 BMW M3 convertables were on the list... as well as several 4-seat domestic convertables, but after going to see yet another over-priced BMW that wasn't worth what the seller wanted and wasn't willing to negotiate on, Mike was getting a bit frustrated.

Before I go much further we have a wonderful friend, D who recently got divorced and had a TT that he rarely drove (18k miles on a 2001 isn't very many) and while he and Mike were hanging out he offered it... at a very good price to Mike. D knows how I love the TT, but he also knew that we'd been looking for a 4-seater, so he hadn't mentioned it before. Mike doesn't like to buy vehicles from friends, but he knew the history, knew its value, knew I would flip my freaking lid over it, and he really wanted to get somthing that he knew I'd enjoy driving... and so he bought it.

Thursday night he brought it home and brought me out to the garage as he opened the door to reveal the car... I've been smiling ever since, and I already have seat-belt tan-lines. ;) (SPF 50 BABY!)

Its COMPLETELY impractical, but I don't care. YES we have probably the smallest "family car" on the market, and it works for us.

Olivia is our family car now, the Tundra is on the market, and I'm getting up at 5:15 to work out every morning so I can be a hot-mama in my Rock-Star car.

Stats: Metalic Black Audi TT Quatro Convertable (turbo) - 2001, 18k miles, leather interior, power everything... and its freakishly fast... I have to be VERY VERY careful with the turbo... it could get away from me if I don't watch it.

Wanna go for a Ride??

Don't know what I did to deserve it, but hubby brought this home for me on Thursday night.

100% impractical. (oh well!)

100% fun.

Holy Crap

Ok... GOOD ON YA, N1KE!!!

I may work for the competator... the one who just bough up R3bok... but These ads ROCK:

My Butt is Big

I Have Thunder Thighs

My Legs

My Knees

There is POWER in the above linked ads... there is empowerment, freedom, reality, truth.

I have a Big Butt... I have Thunder Thighs... My legs carry me and my knees carry my history in scars...

What do YOU think???

so...

guess who was at work until midnight last night?

you get three guesses and the first two don't count.

I got to work at 7am... I left at Midnight... that works out to one VERY LONG (15 hours!!!) work day, and one VERY TIRED me.

Luckily I got to sleep in... came into work at lunch time.

I'm doing well today, feeling more positive and hopefull again. I'll lay out the exercise plans for the next few weeks tomorrow. Its been quite a summer... quite a week...

cheers!

exhale

today was tough.

death is a very hard thing to process. death of the young is even harder.

but why? why is it so hard?

L wasn't affraid of death... she worried about those of us left behind. J said that she was the brightest star he'd ever seen and that the world was left dim without her.

There's a lot about her that I aspire to be in my own life. Kind, compasionate, honest, true... values most all of us aspire to. They spoke today of her grace... and grace in all things is probably one of the greatest things to aspire to have, and to be.

I am deeply, deeply sad.

the processing will continue until it is done.

and right now... for now, I feel that I am redundant, so I will stop here.

good night L. Thank you for being.

So you wanna lose weight?

Here's the only formula for weight loss endorsed by lexysmash:
eat right + exercise. That it... that's the only one!

However... if you want a quick drop of 5-7lbs in ONE DAY* there are other methods... take for example what I've been doing the last 24 hours.

There is nothing left in my intestinal tract. Vomiting and diareah took care of that... inability to consume anything without it comming right back up added dehydration to the mix. I finally was able to keep some ice chips and gatorade down around 8pm yesterday before I crashed for a fitful night of sleep.

I'm feeling much better today, but its very small bland meals and LOTS of fluids for the next couple of days... I'll keep ya posted. I'm assuming at this point that the issue was viral as my son had a similar illness earlier this week and I tend to get anything he does, so it was only a matter of time. Rest is also on the agenda as an electrolyte depleated system is not prime for exercise.

I will admit tho, that seeing a drop of 6lbs in 24 hours is a very wild experience... but I still don't think the loss was worth what my body has been thru in the last 24 hours to get it. UGH!

*Lexysmash does not indorse any weight loss plan that does not involve proper diet and exercise... please do NOT attempt this at home.

*sigh*

my first born is in Alaska with my parents for the next two weeks. I don't have a lot to say about that, other than I miss him already and the little shit had the gall to be completely cool about getting on an airplane WITHOUT mommy and flying nonchalantly all the way to Alaska with my baby sister!!! Brat!!! I, however, am proud that I was able to wave and smile and not completely loose my shit until I got all the way into the car and closed the door. (I am such a mama). Prodigal son is picking raspberries with his cousins in my mom's backyard, and getting ready to go fishing for salmon with my pops.

I am doing well on the health front... exercising, eating, etc... just not all that inspired to write about it at the moment. Sorry Y'all! I'm hoping that in a month or so I'll be able to put some focus into my workouts and my goals and come back with some really interesting things to say.

For now I'm preping my psyche for L's memorial on Tuesday... and just going thru the motions.

I know its hard to know what to say... but I do want to acknowlege that the comments and emails I've gotten have been really wonderful and I appreciate them more than I can say. Thank you all.

so I think I should update, or somthing...

August is, by my standards, a very very very very very busy month. July sorta kick starts it with my hubby's b-day and then my first-son's b-day and then we jump straight into August 1 with my b-day, and from there everything goes down-hill.

This year August will be made even more intense by the following things:

1. death and all that entails for those of us on the outside.
2. visits from inlaws, sisters, and my mom.
3. trips away from home without mommy for both of my kids (one just ended, the other begins tomorrow).
4. back to school.
5. filling out a myriad of university applications.
6. an IVF cycle.
7. selling off much un-used household stuff including vehicles.
8. attempting to ammend child-support orders.
9. filling out the paperwork necessary to complete the above.
10. finding preschool options for youngest son.
11. realizing preschools are waitlisted by a YEAR.
12. beginning potential move planning.

So yeah... there you have it. August in a nutshell... and in case anyone was wondering... the potential destination for said potential household move is Wisconsin. Fox Valley/Green Bay area.

The Lady Sleeps

I don't know what you're going thru, my friend. She was everything... she was it. You did so well, you were so strong for her, and she took your strength and ran.

I am so deeply sad.

Every ounce of my heart is sending hopes for peace to you and to the rest of her family.

She will not ever be forgotten.

my apologies

for the lack of posts this week.

there are things of great import going on right now... and I've prioritized them over blogging.

I will return in due time... please send your thoughts, prayers, support, love, hugs, and peaceful vibes to Thunderslug and L.

epiphany

had a bit of an epiphany today.

I have ZERO trouble getting up and exercising on the weekends. Saturday and Sunday are two of my most activity filled days (generally) with house work, landscape maintenance, chasing after the boys, etc... considering them "days off" is really pretty rediculous. By the time Monday rolls around I am BEAT. Dead tired and I am supposed to just be starting my exercise week... boy I'm clueless sometimes.

So what I'm going to do for the next few weeks is RECOGNIZE my weekends for what they are - Activity days - and add some structured exercise to the morning mix. THEN, I will schedule Monday and Tuesday as planned rest days and all will be right with the world.

yes?

well, its worth a shot, eh?

feelin' more groovy.

Thanks for the birthday wishes and pick-me-ups, folks!

I'm feelin more positive now. Alissa took me out for sushi at Mio and they thoroughly embarassed me by singing over a candle in a bowl of green-tea ice cream (which was lovely). I came home to some lovely gifts (pepper spray - which I asked for... its a lone-female-runner/biker thing) a bracelet hand-made by my hubby, a new paper journal with some lovely things written in it etc.

Time slips by so quickly... so much I want to do with my life and yet it seems I keep not allowing it to just happen. I've completed 31 years of fairly successful life on this planet... not too shabby for fat chick with low self-esteem. ;)

Now for a beer and a movie.

sing me a song...

tell me a story

or a joke

Today is my birthday. I'm 31 years old... and I don't feel much like laughing.

landscaping

I have slowly but... well, just slowly been taking over the landscaping duties around our house (not that I need more to do, but I seem more motivated to get it done than anyone else, so I guess its my job now) since the Memorial Day Lanscaping Extravaganza that transformed our back yard from horrible to purty-near awesome. I mow our postage stamp front lawn with our PUSH MOWER (cause we're environmentally conscious like that) and I'm pretty much the only one willing to beat-down the back-40 (which isn't really forty, its more like .25) with the gas-powered weed-whaker (cause even tho we're environmentally conscious like that, the electric weed-whacker cries when we try to use it on the tall grass that thrives in the wetter area of the lower yard.) because I'm not affraid of spiders and bees that could be lurking.

So today was landscaping day. Mowed the lawn, cut back the blackberries that are constantly trying to come thru the fence, round-up'd the worst of the mess, weeded the beds, weeded my veggie garden, etc. It was fun. It was good, sweaty, active, hard work.

Debbie kicked my butt first thing in the morning, outside work all day, and I'm riding my darned bike to work tomorrow!

Now... if my damned period would just start and relieve some of this bloating, I'd feel almost human.

hope you had a great weekend. I did.

life with brian...

so with the summer cold ramping up to peak performance yesterday I did not bike into work. I'm really disapointed about that because it would have been my first full week of biking to work all three days. Its very difficult for me to accept the limitations of illness and injury. Illness and injury (and an IVF cycle) are what landed me 20lbs heavier than I was last summer and thus every time I feel somthing comming on, be it illness or injury my instinct is to push thru it as much as I can... This isn't necessarily a bad instinct... but it certainly doesn't serve to help me heal the way I probably should.

I was in a PISSY mood all day yesterday after I didn't ride. I was pissed at my cold, pissed at my "lazyness" for not getting up off of my ass and riding in anyway. Pissed that every time I start to get into a routine somthing throws me off. I was in a piss poor frame of mind and it showed.

Today I have pulled my head outta my ass.

I got up today and had my date with Debbie. I knew I still wasn't up for my 90 minute bikram class, so I slept in and got up and did RIU and SISixPack with our dear squat n@zi Debbie. Low impact, but a good workout and I am working very hard on convincing myself that one day lost is not a routine broken.

Shit happens.

Colds happen.

I'll dance with Debbie again tomorrow and ride on Monday/Wednesday/Friday next week. There is still a routine... there is always progress to be made.

Have a fabulous weekend!